Pathological liar?
I really do wonder if SD is a pathological liar. When I first met her, she was around 8. I thought she was cute and she would sit on my lap, talking to me. One night, she told me a great story about her mom taking her to Disney World and about all the rides she went on, characters she saw, etc. I told her dad about it and he said it was a cute story, but she had never been to Disney World. I thought "that is odd, not cute," but I didn't say anything.
Flash forward to a car trip with a rented car. DH and I both saw her putting her muddy boots on the seat in front of her. She saw us looking at her. We told her to stop and she said, "I didn't put my boots on the seat."
Flash forward again: I had a peace lily on my front porch that I had kept from my grandma's funeral. I went outside after she and her sister had been playing on the porch and found the plant almost beaten to death. I confronted them and they said it must have been bugs.
Well, today, she found a necklace she liked in a catalog and asked if it was a peace lily or a calla lily (it says calla on the page, but she doesn't ever bother to look for information like that.). I grinned and said, "this might make you mad, but the plant you and your sister beat to death and blamed on bugs, was a peace lily. That's a calla lily." She said, "That was an accident." I replied, "Bullsh*t. At least do me the respect of not treating me like an idiot." She just mumbled again about it being an accident.
Why is she so incapable of telling the simple truth? I question every story she tells me about her ex-BF and his family, what happened to her at BM's, etc. Even DH doesn't think she can tell the truth about anything, but he still gets hurt when she gets caught in a lie. What worries me is that if she lies like that in court or to the authorities, she could lose her son.
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Please.
That is what kids do. They need to be taught the value of telling the truth. Instead they watch the world around them, so full of lies, and come to understand that there is greater value in that - unless you teach them. Kids lie. Seriously, its not pathological, its NATURAL. it's the job of the parents, and society, to teach them values. We are animals afterall.
Yes, that is what KIDS do
but she is a grown woman. She is 21 years old. She gets very upset if she is lied to, so she knows that it is wrong. So why isn't it wrong for her to lie? And the thing is, the flower incident I jokingly referred to happened 10 years ago; it isn't like she is going to get in trouble for it now!
Indeed, that IS different. At 21,
You kinda only have the option of knowing she lies alot and accepting her as is, or refusing to accept teh bullsh*t. At that age I would refuse and tell her just why and how I refuse to tolerate lies, and let her go it alone for a spit, until she has some genuine human inquiry as to how to better address her lifestyle.
Warning* I am great at offering advice to others but you will find I have no success in advising my own situation to well being.
She will learn by example.