Things cant get worse? And then they do....
So, since I've been reading the posts on this site, I've been feeling a lot of different things - some feelings of relief, some new flashes of light bulbs going off and a general sense of unease about the future with SD17. And possibly SD10.
So far, within the past year or so I have discovered that SD17 is mean, spiteful, angry, jealous. And that's not all folks. She's a pathological liar. I've known this for a long time, but BM has always had her head up her #$$ and seems surprised at recent events. "not my BABY GIRL!!!!" Yeah right.
Many stories, with twists and turns, and at this point not even very interesting, just painful.
Most recently she was caught shoplifting, and told momma that she did it for adrenalin rush. How cute. Not. She is sorry, not sorry. Mother and father have not lectured her or really said anything. Just don't take her to the store...
THEN, just when it seems like "ok, that's the worst, we can sort of deal with this, and just watch her closely", she hauls off and starts beating on BM's boyfriend. Because he was lecturing her on the wrongfulness of stealing. He'd also had a few drinks, and that means "open season" to SD17. she is at her meanest when she observes a person with a beer or glass of wine in hand.
To top it off, when So and I were cleaning house this weekend, we found our missing dishware, with moldy crusty foods. We have been looking for them, and asked her and she swore that she did not have them. I have been disengaging, and so did not look, but KNEW they were there.
Ugh. A hoarder. "My little girl! Shes sicker than I thought!" he sais. Im thinking, she's saying "eff you, you don't tell me what to do, you don't control me, see what happens when you piss me off?"
SO is still learning, I guess. And then last night, when she was told to clean her room, this morning, 4 new dishes and still room not clean. Why not take away uke and laptop and phone and stand over her and watch whlle she cleans.
So todays lesson: Honey, just Take the door off. No hiding anymore. If She doesnt like it too bad! And by the bye SD17 - don't yell at your father unless you want to walk to school every morning.
- CLove's blog
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Comments
OK Im lazy and didn't read
OK Im lazy and didn't read back postings. Why does she feel its open season when she sees someone drinking?
A friend of mine took off her daughters door for 6 months. The change was unbelievable. There was no more dishes, nasty feminine products or dirty cloths everywhere. She valued her privacy more than fighting what needed to be done to clean her room. Hope it works for you.
OH! Well guess what - I never
OH! Well guess what - I never went into details about that part. It a whole 'nuther pathos.
Background - her mother is an alcoholic. Like falling down dunk, passed out drunk, passed out in her own puke kind of drunk, pissed her own pants kind of drunk - in front of kids. Dad is not a drinker. Many many many fights have occurred when people are drinking. I don't have more than 1-2 glass of wine anymore, because she pushes buttons and does her manipulations, and you have to be totally on that chit. And clear-headed, to do battle.
That's REALLY great news. Because everytime she has period or spends more than a day at the house, its bagfuls of trash...everywhere. And yet, she has time to strum and watch videos and laze away her vacay on the couch watching tv.
Geezzoo. So very sad she
Geezzoo. So very sad she gets in that condition in front of her children. I am not an angel and the SS's did witness an argument that DH and I had years ago after we had a few too many. We apologized and just had to move on. They know that its far an in between but still felt extremely guilty after it happened.
Perhaps she has a low
Perhaps she has a low tolerance. I don't know how much she drinks, but she will drink a box of wine or an entire bottle of vodka. When SD10 was 2 yo, she would drink until passout and sweetie would come home to find her. She was a stay-at-home mother...
I can drink 3-4 glasses on full stomach, and not pass out. I don't get sick. Ive stopped my party lifestyle since being with sweetie, and rarely drink too much in front of kiddos.
Hes a practical sort, or so I
Hes a practical sort, or so I thought. I think that it will hit him soon. He knows she is lazy. He is starting to learn the word "entitlement".
And I did text his that yesterday - that she is simply not caring and giving the equivalent of middle finger. That sick people have cancer, etc...she is simply acting entitled.
Thanks for the advice.
DH took SDrama's door off for
DH took SDrama's door off for about 2 months, after repeatedly sneaking burner phones in from her friends and various other lies she kept telling (who she was with, where she was...) This was after being grounded from electronics for the SAME reason. Well, DUH.
Man, it annoyed the ever loving shit out of her when her younger siblings couldn't be stopped from coming in her room and touching her stuff, or the fact she had to acknowledge people in our household and not hide in her pit of a room.
I secretly giggled to myself a lot during those 8 weeks... }:)
We are hoping this will work
We are hoping this will work - she likes to close the door and hide. She is also vry protective of her "stuff". SD10 will hopefully learn from this example.
I will never allow SO to take
I will never allow SO to take down Aergia's door..... I use it to keep the stink and dirty from the rest of the house, I give a flying duck if she hides in that for days to end....
CLove - pouring your more wine...you really need to disengage lol...... lock up the good dishes and leave paper plates and foam cups out for the little pig to use.....
It is SO INCEDIBLY yucky in
It is SO INCEDIBLY yucky in there, I gag when I go in to look for my missing dishes. This has been SO's choice. I like having the door closed - it gives ME privacy and time away from her, and her singing and playing videos. But his reasoning is that if her door is off, she is forced to clean it out of shame. I don't think she has any shame really. He will stand over her, while she screams and cries and watch her clean. Not looking forward to THAT.
Thanks! Chardonnay is my favorite, but I might need a shot of something stronger after tomorrow nights cleaning session.
The reason for cleaning tonight, is we are looking for my favorite mug - a large one with a mustache on it. I actually bought her a special togo mug for christmas - and the little bratola left it at BM!!!!!!
Paper togos coffee cups I think from now on. Great recommendation! She doesn't eat in her room anymore, at least not during regular meal times, but she DOES sneak late at night. SO does regular room checks now. Ive only been asking him to for about 6 months. After finding the moldy dishes, that was a huge wakeup call for him.