Depending on how he reacts do not back down. Remain calm and firm in your decision. If he doesn't support you, there's nothing you can do except to expedite that escape plan and in the meantime all communication and doing things for both DH and SD gets shut down. 
 

I would respond with "It's disheartening and telling that you won't support me. You can expect the same lack of support from me going forward. Nevertheless, I maintain I have the right not to be abused in my own home. I will be adjusting my plans accordingly in the future to reflect this" 

Then end it and put him on ignore until he actually cares to hear your concerns. 

as he will use that against you. I would have told him to do what he thinks is right and you will do the same.  IE...if the cps calling nutjob 17 year old is there..then you will not be.  DH doesn't like..OH BOOF8CKING HOO...too bad.   His kid, his problem. 

No more rides from you, no cooking, no presents, no money no NOTHING.  BTDT with GWR...and let me tell you ....since I was the one that did all those things for him....he found real quick HE GOT NOTHING since DH was broke as joke and I was the one that did all the planning.

I wouldn't give the uke back to her. That just creates another opportunity for contact between you two. Donate it to a music school or daycare or something. If you give it back after you paid for it, then it's giving her free money and likely rewarding her or reinforcing for her that abusing you works and you'll find a way to chase her. She benefits from getting her uke back. No more benefits for BS/PS. She deserves absolutely nothing, especially from you. Have absolutely zero contact with her even in your home. Ignore, ignore, ignore. 

Didn't you say that HE records you too? He needs to stop that as well. Apple ... tree.

I am just getting caught up from the previous blog and I'm soo freakin mad for you!

Your DH recording you, wonder where Powersulk B$%^& Face got it from,

I'd retake that bedroom in a hurry and live there until you can escape and he can visit her outside the home if he MUST. She is no longer welcome. And once she turns 18 CPS threats will turn into Law Enforcement threats. 

OH NO MISSY. She done threw the guantlet down. That is a line in the sand you don't return from. Periodt! 

She can live at the beach with mommy dearest and meet daddykins for dinner somewhere else until you are long gone. Even if you aren't able to enforce her not coming to the house, She can sleep on a couch she doens't need a room. You get the room with a door and privacy and peace. 

Ohhhhh i'm livid. You are too sweet for your own good and I'm not beating you up. I know its easier said than done a lot of times but this is the final straw. 

Has your husband responded? I can't believe SD did this. What is her end game here? I just can't figure out what her play is!

You communicated your expectations very clear, especially her not being around you anymore. You can flip that if he tries to push back. Anyone who has been abused knows this (ask me how I know) but if someone is abusive to you, they are the LAST person you want to be around. While you can't be around her for safety issues, she also should not want to be around you since she thinks your abusive and wants to call CPS.  

As for recording, no explanation is needed. That's a huge boundary violation and in some states, could be deemed illegal. SMH

I too called the cops for being recorded and explained and they told me that my SS was within his rights as he lived there and he is allowed to record me. I told them that he physically assaulted me and they said that I could press charges but he is only 15yo so that wouldnt go anywhere. My husband and his son made up a story that I was under the influence of something that night ( i dont drink and I dont do drugs but just so you know if the officers think you were drunk or high, they will dismiss your claim) and that because I had threatened my SS by saying "get that camera off my face or I will fkin break that shit", therefore he was within his rights to retaliated by jumping me and punching me like a rag doll

Be careful. They will always side with the child and the parent. You may even end up having to leave your home if you are the one threatened because you are the adult and children should stay with their parent

Its a losing game. He will side with her. Be glad she did not put hands on you (yet - judging by her family life, they have a violent streak over there just like my SSs BM who beat up her own mother and sister multiple times). Record and document everything. Ignore your husband and do not communicate anything about this with him

She will continue to remain in the home because she is a minor and you are the adult so you will be required to leave while she is there.

Be safe....I feel for you....I know what its like to be abused and threatened by a so called child

I just read your previous post, and I'm appalled. SD does sound like she needs an evaluation; but maybe for a mood or behavioral disorder, not for lupus. 

I've read your blogs for years and I feel pretty confident saying that you deserve much, much more than the life you're living with these people. It's clear that you're a kind, generous, loving human. Those are great qualities, but they're being wasted on people who are only taking advantage of you. I genuinely hope that at the very least you're able to successfully disengage from SD and use the energy you usually give to her to do something that actually brings you joy. 

2 dogs won't produce a cat, and 2 fk'd up parents won't produce a well-adjusted kid. Let her call CPS. You haven't harmed her, and it sounds like the worst you did was (maybe?) raise your voice. Even in California, that can't be a crime. It sounds like your DH's biggest fear is that BM will get more custody and he will have to pay more child support. He doesn't sound like he gives much of a sh!t about his relationship with SD.

You didn't create this mess. I know you wanted to think of these girls as your family, but you have to let them go. The more you try with them, the worse they treat you. Cats would make better family than these drama queens. Maybe better family than your DH, too.  Stop trying with all of them. The girls are acquaintances. Let your DH chase you for once, if he wants a good marriage. Drop the rope with all of them. 

How can you have any respect for your H? (Not using the D unless it stands for something quite unflattering.)

After reading your previous blog and this one... CLove, you're a sweet woman and obviously a gentle soul who tries to see the best in everyone. Time after time after time after time, your H and his offensive offspring have virtually defecated all over you. And you continue to overlook, find excuses, and/or let it go. Realize that he is completely unworthy of you (or any partner!). Please love yourself enough to leave this toxic relationship. {{hugs}}

Clove....

I'm not saying that his daughter is justified in threatening CPS.. or filming you (your SO either).

But.. I need you to also really examine your own actions right now as well.. and how they may be viewed by outsiders.  It's extremely important, especially when you are at risk of a bad moment being digitized.. to act absolutely above reproach.

I'm not saying you are wrong for being upset when she abuses the netflix priveleges. I'm not saying you are wrong for wanting her to succeed in school.. etc.. etc.. I think your motivations and desire to have a good relationship with a productive and happy child are pure.

But.. do you think that times when you have been drinking have contributed to you possibly saying things a little more harshly than you might have intended? Or, when you give her "heck" like when she didn't get your SO a FD present.. could the way you are talking to her be taken more harshly? 

Because.. it feels like the common complaint this girl has with you is that you are overly harsh on her.. giving her crap.. riding herd on her etc.. and while she has a worthless father.. and you feel since you do so much for her.. and you want her to like you.. you think pushing her will make her succeed.. but then it also seems at times when she doesn't display enough gratitude or happiness in exchange for the nice things.. you sort of "retaliate" by picking things to "go after her" over.

Like.. you do all those nice things for her.. then she turns around and is a little BM over the father's day thing (and being ungrateful and selfish for not thinking about dad.. when she was just out shopping).. so you are PO'ed at her.. and you let her know that you are highly dissappointed and give her a talking to.. then later.. after a few glasses of wine.. your inhibitions decide to go and poie at her over Netflix.. like you were kind of picking a fight with her because you were mad at her.. hurt by her.

And.. again.. please don't take this wrong.. in that as a heand of that house.. you can't have boundaries over your netflix subscription.. but it seems like a quid pro quo situation sometimes.. you do nice.. she doesn't behave nice.. so you get hurt/mad and you want her to KNOW your displeasure.. it's like your instinctual response to want to give her the Uke back.. you want her to KNOW you are hurt and angry.. if you just didn't want to care.. you would toss that thing in the back of the closet behind some old coats... you want her to "feel" bad.. like she has made YOU feel bad.

And.. with a few glasses of wine.. could you be a bit amped up to be more honest.. or let your inner voice out more? 

I guess the bottom line is that I think that you need to stop drinking at home if she is going to be around.. you don't need any truth serum.. you don't need anything to lower your inhibitions to the point where you can't hold your tongue.. because she isn't your kid.. you don't want her on netflix? change the password.. give it to no one.  if she fails school? who cares.. not your kid.. if she doesn't buy her dad a FD present.. who the H cares? it's not your birthday.. not your dad.. she isn't your kid to tell what to do.

I would also make your DH be aware that if he isn't there..  his daughter needs to go to her moms.. that with an accusation you won't be around her without someone else (though.. sounds like he would side with HER.. so pretty useless anyway).

I truly feel she is just like her parents.. both of them.. and it's not healthy.. but you can't fix it.. all you can do is decide to live in it or not.

Oh boy I haven't read everything (coffee drive through) but what the hell? Aren't you glad you have your blogs here to help you document. Even just for yourself. 

Doesn't matter if she can or cannot record you.  If she is out of your home she can not record anything.  She gave up her rights to be in your home after she threatened you.  I would not live like that. DH either does something about her, or he leaves with her.  
I would get cloud base cambers. Putting them in all common areas of your home.  If SD is home camabers are on. 
You have to put your foot down,  DH is trying to make everyone happy and making no one happy.   He must understand this didn't work in his first marriage, and it's not working now. 
He must take a side.   And thing will play out from that side.  It's not going to be one big happy family for sure 

have your attorney send her a cease and decist order.

Take it out of DH's hands and purge this toxic shit kid from your life, home, and presence.  ZERO tolerance. This is DH's fault and his failure as a parent is what will keep SD away from YOUR home.  She is a risk, a threat, and she cannot be tolerated in your life.

I would also get the wireless web cams/microphones instqalled all over your house just in case SDPS shows up.

She cannot be allowed in your home and presence, whether DH is there or not.  He will have to actually engage with her and do it somewhere else.  When he gets all butt hurt, and he will, point out the crap TT has put him/you through, FF has put him/you through and ask him why it is such a surprise and why is he all butt hurt that his failed fathering is having the same result with SDPS?  Lather... rinse... repeat.

IMHO of course.