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You think you can do better? Then take care of your own damn kid!

Mantra_Momma's picture

To start off, I'll let you know that we live maybe a 5 minute walk from SD7's school. I walk with her every morning and pick her up everyday since I'm home on maternity leave. No one has ever asked me to do this, it's always been assumed I would since I'm home anyway.

Yesterday morning I called down to SD7 twice telling her we had to leave in 10 minutes for school, and she still had to eat breakfast and get her stuff together. After being completely ignored twice, I went downstairs and told her to come upstairs because we had to leave. On the way to school I asked why she took so long because she was half an hour later than usual. She said she heard me calling her but she just kept doing what she was doing. I asked her if she didn't think when someone calls her she should answer, and she said no! When I repeated her answer with surprise in my voice she said, "yes?". So she wasn't even listening to what I was saying, which is typical. Any time she's in trouble she just tunes me out and guesses what answer she is supposed to give. So I lost it and told her to go to school the rest of the way on her own.

Well of course BM had something to say about that to DH. But you know what, if you don't like how I handle things, then take care of your own daughter and you figure out how to get her to school and back everyday. BM constantly reminds us that I'm not SD's mother, yet she expects me to do all the things a mother does since SD lives with DH and I. If you want to leave a list of instructions on how to care for your kid, I think what you're looking for is a nanny.

Comments

ChaiLatte's picture

"You think you can do better? Then take care of your own damn kid!"

Couldn't have said it better myself. When DH told you what she had to say, did he take her side? I certainly hope not. A supportive partner that sees how ridiculous a BM is being can make all the difference in the world.

Mantra_Momma's picture

He did and he didn't take her side. BM had the nerve to tell DH "You may have another daughter, I don't". Don't you EVER bring my 5 month old daughter into things. He stood up to her, but at the same time I knew he wasn't happy with what I did either. I think he knew if he said something I would feel like he was taking BM's side, so he just said he didn't really like it but he understood. I just feel the same way towards him though on things like that. If you don't like what I do, then take care of it yourself.

Totalybogus's picture

I think I would have a problem with a 7 year old walking to school by herself too. We just had a 7 year old child taken and killed here who separated from her sister on their way home from school.

However, I wouldn't take that up with you. I would be having a real heart to heart with my x. He is the one that is responsibile for her and he is abdicating his responsibility to you.

now4teens's picture

Amen, Sista!

Everything in my life has gotten SO much better since I adopted the mantra "Not my kid, Not my problem"

BM used to think she could micromanage EVERYTHING that happened at our home. Everything that I did or did not do was under her close scrutiny.

It's actually amazing that I was able to raise MY OWN CHILDREN (who are older than hers) without a major incident before SHE came along! Thank God she was in my life to finally point out how WRONG I was doing everything! WOW, Thank you, BM! ( ok, sarcasm done Wink )

Anyway, it used to upset me terribly. DH and I would get into HUGE fights about it. Then I wised up and adopted the same attitude. Hey, she doesn't like the way I do it, then I WON'T do it! And hence the new mantra:

"Not MY kid, Not MY Problem"

"Of course things worked out nicely for Carol Brady...she had a live-in maid and Mike's first wife was DEAD!"

stepmom2one's picture

7, hmmmm it depends on the neighborhood. Mine is wonderful, we live 2 blocks from the school SD10 walks....the sidewalks are full of kids walking.

Either way it is up to your H on how he will get her to school.

I would tell her "if you are not ready for school on time then the next day you will have to get up 30 mins earlier"

If you can walk her I think it is for the best, if not it is up to her BPs.