Hello, I am in a very complicated relationship! I have a 10 year old boy and my boyfriend has a 9 and ten year old boy. I often feel like I am at the bottom of the totem pole. My BF boys come first, his job where he travels 50% of the time, and his ex that seems to be able to call all the shots.

He has signed the papers months ago and his ex won't. Even though it was she who left him. She blames her lawyer as her excuse for not signing.

His sons don't want him dating and he carries guilt for the family breaking up even though it is his ex who had affairs and left him.

My bf says I am only friends to his kids as his one son has psychological issues and threatens suicide from time to time and is only 10. I think the boy pulls those kind of games as a mechanism for control. If I push my bf to come clean with his boys, I will be responsible for whatever fallout will result. If I do nothing, I will always feel at the bottom of the totem pole.

Advice?