DH called, and it is making me crazy...
I have a 20 y/o SD with a 5 m/o baby. She came to live with us almost a year ago - when she found out she was preggo. So, it has been a looonnnngggg haaaarrrddd year. The rules were she has to be employed and in school to stay. She has abided by both, although I am paying the tuition.
So - here is what is making me crazy, my DH called. He works in a very small, locally-owned shop. He is on my health plan because his is lousy. They need a new "girl" for the office. You know, to keep the records, do dispatch, that sort of thing. Now, my SD works in a corporate setting, at the bottom of the totem pole. But, they have full medical and a path to grow, and look good on a resume for when she is ready to move! She doesn't like it (OF COURSE!! - there are requirements of attire, working regular hours, things like that. She was quite upset when they made her clock out to pump, apparently she was taking over thirty minutes...) My DH is all excited that he can "rescue" his SD from this horrible place.
I feel like crying!! SHE NEEDS TO STAY AT THE CORPORATE JOB!! I can't tell you how strongly I feel this way. If she moves - this other place has no career path, she looses her dental, has no positive resume impact, she will be able to call in whenever the hell she wants, and (honestly, this might be why I feel like crying) she can pal around with her dad all day.
What is going to happen when she doesn't work out there? Hhhmmmm???? When they give her time off to take care of her kid all the time so she doesn't have money to pay her bills? HMMM... This is just making me sick. I have a feeling I am over reacting - but the daddy-daughter click has been rather strong lately, I have an totally unexpected tax bill, a home repair that has to happen, and her damn tuition is coming due. She MUST go to school, and I have put my money where my mouth is. She MUST work, and she should be at a place with a future! He tends to have an attitude that since She has a Daughter and She is a Mother, She already is doing SO Much, that I should be Considerate. EMS. ugh.
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Comments
Hi there!!!!
I agree. She needs to stay put. If that girl is ever going to learn responsibility, she needs to stick with the job she already has. When I was 19 (and had a 1 year old), I was stuck in a miserable job. I had no choice but like you said it had great medical. That's life...get used to it.
Daddy needs to quit enabling her to be such a baby.
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain."
She should stay where she is
There is no question working with her dad is a bad idea, tell him to retract the offer or face your wrath!
And, who takes care of baby while she is working??
"Fortune favors the brave" - Virgil
ahh to be young
and not understand the need for good insurance. Yeah, parenting is a job but it took a bit of work to get that way. Working and going to school are work but better to do it now while you are young and have a great support system to help out than to get your degree at 33 and not get a decent job until you are 35 - no insuruance.
Follow up
Well now - things have gone better. I talked to DH about this (over and over.) I find he can't listen to a dissenting opionion for much longer than 2 minutes. So I speak in sound bites. But - I asked him - what about dental? Then (and he HATES this) - I compared his finding a job for SD to the baby's father - who had her working under the table in a junk yard. (No medical, no nothing.) - Then - she must find her OWN way on this - you can't fix it. Then - If I find a new job - what will happen then? (this last item actually fixed it. If I find a new job and we have to move, my DH's employer would be out two people and it is a pretty small shop...) Offer rescinded. SD started her own job search. Relief...