One of my biggest pet peeves, not communicating. My SD17 has no communication skills at all. I used to not let it bother me, till she started bad mouthing her father to me (which he does everything for her, not as much now after he found out what she's said about him), and it started affecting my life, my daughter's life, and my marriage. This kid wants to be independent, but wants to be dependent while independent. The hold my hand, I won't communicate my needs, get mad when you don't help me, but still make decisions for me when I won't say a word, make sure to read my mind.

So a great example of not communicating. Last night, I get home from work and was hit with this putrid smell. Come to find out, her dog got out (she won't properly latch her crate, even though she's been reminded many times, another thing she gets mad at me for, the reminding) and had diarrhea all over the living room and spare room, went into her little sister's room, peed all over her rug and carpet, and chewed up her toys on the floor. Mind you there was 1 clean spot in the living room from her cleaning. We messaged (she was at work) her asking why she didn't tell us her dog got out. Several hours later, she messaged back with...well I cleaned up after her, didn't think it mattered (whenever my dog did something, best believe we heard about it from her). My husband said, but you didn't, the spare room was covered in poop, and your sister's toys got chewed up,  would've been nice to know so we didn't have to figure out what happened. Her response....sorry. 

Little history on this dog. It has been a problem since she got it. She has struggled with socializing the animal, cleaning up after it, and likes to keep it locked up all day. We've talked to her many times about it. She starts doing better, but than goes right back to her same ole patterns. We put the dog in the living room with her night crate thinking it would encourage her to be out in the living room and socialize her dog. All she would do is hide in her room and leave the dog locked up in her crate leaving it up to us to deal with her dog and refused to clean up after it, (it sheds a lot so there was always piles of hair on the carpet left for me to clean up) . We moved the dog into her room, telling her she still needs to bring the animal out into the living room to play with my dog so she can be socialized and not isolated. Did it for about week. Now, she only takes the dog out of room to go out to potty and comes right back into the house into her room, gets mad at me and ignores me when I remind her again, the dog cannot be locked up in her room. She will let it run around in her room, but won't bring it out of her room (her idea of socializing). She goes to work (typically works 530pm to 1030pm some nights gets home at 1130pm), takes her out to potty before work, but won't take her out again till the next morning. I've expressed to her that her dog needs to go out no matter how tired she is, she wanted the dog she has to take care of it. The dog has apparently had diarrhea for 2 weeks now (probably because she has an infection from not being allowed to go outside like she should), I told her to make a vet appointment and get her in twice. I work and so does my husband. SD is in highschool still, but she gets out really early because she has a ton of extra credits from her highschool when she was living with her mom. She also doesn't start work till the evening after the vet is closed. Our vet is within walking distance of the house. So there is no excuse she shouldn't of made an appt. It was complete lack of want or care.

So this weekend I'm putting my foot down, thankfully with my husband's backing. He is now finally seeing what she's doing or rather what she's not doing. I'm giving her an ultimatum and it's her last chance. Get the dog to the vet, take better care of the dog, socialize her, stop leaving her in her crate all day and night, take her out to potty after work. Or it is gone. 

I know this will create even more tension between her and I but it's on her, I honestly don't care anymore. I've been nothing but kind to her, I do things for her when I don't have to. I include her as much as she is willing in family outings. Everytime I ask her to do something I get an attitude and eye rolls (she don't do it to her dad). I told my husband I am at my whits end with this. I have let so much go but I cannot take it anymore and I am about to get into her face. Thankfully from our last talks he supports me in everything now involving her. He wants me involved, I said fine. But you will back me. If you want me to help parent than you treat me as such. Not just when you feel like including me.

I literally regret letting her move in with us. Everything was great for the first year, and than something flipped. Her mom came to visit for a week at SD's aunt's house. Only thing is, I think her mom got into her head and created the scenario she's betraying her mom for liking me. All it's done has caused her daughter's life to crumble, and create drama. Her mother hates me because I married the kid's father, he refused to marry her and have a life with her because she's a control freak and abusive, mentally and emotionally.