Therapist for child not disclosed
So....SD has been seeing a therapist when in the care of BM. BM of course has not told DH of this. I just discovered it secretly. What now?
I am so sick of this BM doing whatever she wants and DH knows NOTHING!
You know how they say that when someone is cheating in a relationship the behavior is that they accuse the other of cheating so that they aren't being looked at and found out about? Well, clearly this must be the case in all wrong situations. BM has accused me and DH of keeping her out of the loop when SD is with us. Even went so far as to cry to a judge that she didn't even know where her daughter was when she was with us which was her reason for wanting DH out of SD's life. WTH!!!?? So no only did she FREAK out when we took SD to a doctor while with us but tried to deny further treatment from a specialist wanting SD to wait a week and a half to do it at home. Never mind that SD had been crying daily that it hurt. Never mind that the doctor felt that she needed a specialist asap. Crazy chick!
Anyone know if we can use this against her to show the judge what a manipulative kniving wench she is?
Oh, another question.....what about Flexable spending accounts? Anyone know about those? Can they get reimbursed through one and still want the expense to be shared?
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Well, we experienced the same exact thing.....
We only found out BM was taking SD to the counselor (abuse trama counselor) by mistake. The counselor had an appointment scheduled for a Saturday that was DH's weekend and he refused to give it up. So then she had to tell that the child was seeing a counselor. DH still refused to give up the weekend... and called the counselor for information. Good thing She (BM) mistakenly said her name during the discussion because she was angry. But would not give any information as to what was going on.
Well we waited until the next appointment was made and had a teleconference with the counselor afterward - as DH has joint custody and all information is supposed to be discussed and shared. At that time the counselor was concerned and asked to come for the next appointment which was 9 Jan 09. We showed up and BM showed up (had SD to act out claiming she was afraid of us - but didn't know me and the counselor saw her threatening the child) and left the appointment. We stayed and Counselor then told us BM was attempting to take away custody and visitation by having SD lie about abuse and other things. Which the child did not substantiate - basically she went into the sessions saying, "my mommi told me to say imagr8tma hit me or was mean to me." The counselor told us to get a GAL and lawyer involved as it was going to get ugly.
So i would attempt to find out the counselor and if DH has joint custody he has a right to the information that BM has shared with the counselor for the reason for the visits. He also has a right to the notes from those sessions. He needs to find out what is going on. It could just be transition issues or it could be worse.
DH should find out what the heck is going on in this situation. I sincerely hope it is nothing drastic or vindictive.
********She doesn't have to love me or even like me - it doesn't change a dang thing..... So get over it and move on BM!************
flex spending
I work with insurance and stuff all day long(ugh!) When our patients have 'split' houses and incomes...usually one parent pays the copay or bill and we give an itemized receipt to show their payment. If flex spending is involved that money is coming from what they contribute and the other parent still has to reimburse for their half. Now, if the money for flex spending is being contributed from cs money...the parent giving the cs money doesn't have to contribute anything additional. In maryland the child support that a parent pays absolves them of any additional payments for anything. Also, how the money for doctor visits and things like that is paid should also be detailed in the custody agreement since it can be such a grey area. As an example, some parents pay minimal child support amounts which barely covers the cost of daycare or food every month...in these cases the parent may have to pay half of all medical bills.
Hope this helps.
The thing that impresses me most about America is the way parents obey their children. ~Edward, Duke of Windsor, Look, 5 March 1957
Sharing info requrement may be in the parenting plan
In our case, there was a parenting plan (fill in the blanks) that stated that important info is to be shared. He can use that against her in court if she isn't.
Ha ha. Our BM did not tell DH about SS being arrested, having child in need of services filed by school, flunking out, any results of doctor or counseling visits, etc. Oh, one time she called DH from her BF's house (on Easter morning) to tell him that SS was home sick alone. (he was 14)