I love my stepson with all my heart but my god I am sick of the stress that comes with both being a step parent and the situation i am in.
There doesn't seem to be any solutions, and I am not the type of person who can just sit back and think ah well your problem when it comes to his behaviour at school and at home, it bugs me that he is such a well behaved, well rounded and obedient child here, and the complete opposite at school and at home. It makes me feel sorry for bm that she has to put up with it, but on the other hand she aggravates me by letting him get away with so much, and also being ignorant or rude when I try to help. I am never rude to her, never have been never will be, I never ignore her, or belittle her, or anything else, I am careful to insure that my ss remains respectful to his mum, even when I don't agree with her.

I sometimes wonder whether its my respect for other people, politeness, and willingness to let things go that lands me in so much stress, people seem to take no notice of me, or think its ok to belittle me and that applies to certain things involving my ss. I am just as much part of the parental team as anyone else, I contribute both emotionally and physically beyond expectation.

I see lack of respect as part of the problem of my ss's attitude and wonder if because of this the way thing of problems all the times go on will carry on, or even get worse no matter what effort is put in from me and dp. I can't see ANY solutions at all and things are getting worse very quickly, a little boy who has the potential to be such an intelligent and polite little boy is becoming a tear away who is underperforming at school.
Or should I just not care?
Argh!