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My DH is BACK!

lieutenant_dad's picture

It was a few rough months of Disney Dad re-emerging, but the DH I know and love is BACK!

Over the weekend, there was a kid thing, and I went with DH because it was on a side of town with stuff to do so we were going to make a day of it after. We show up to the thing, caffeine in hand, to see BM, GBM, MIL, and YSS waiting around for the thing to start (OSS was participating in said thing).

MIL has become totally enmeshed with BM and GBM again. It's plain as day, given how they are chatting and that DH isn't the one who informed her of the thing. He makes a mental note that he no longer needs to invite his mother over as BM has it covered.

Anywho, thing happens and OSS was great. The kid should be really proud of himself. We all leave at the same time, and BM walks right up next to DH to start prattling about things with the kids. Most of it is related to spring break schedule and when DH is taking the kids (which is prompted by MIL saying she can babysit if we can't take the time off - the kids are nearly 17 and 13, they'll be fine and I don't want her in my home unsupervised). 

Eventually, BM brings up the DC trip for YSS. She starts prattling off about how much it is going to cost.

DH stops. I pull out my phone and walk about 10 feet away so I can "nope" out of the discussion. DH turns to YSS and pulls him in front of him, spins him so he is facing BM and standing between DH and BM, and then leans down to his ear.

DH: YSS, what job did I give you to do?

YSS: I don't remember (this kid's catch phrase).

DH: I told you to tell your mother that I wasn't paying for you to go to DC. (Note: DH has been forcing the kids to talk to BM about things they want to do, partly because of their age and needing to learn to speak up, and partly to prevent BM from pulling the "well, the boys wanted me to talk to you about..." issue that BM CONSTANTLY uses for non-important things).

YSS: Oh yeah...

BM: Well, he wants to go...

DH, with force in his voice and directed squarely at BM: No. I AM NOT paying for him to go on this trip. He has failing grades and he told me he isn't that interested in going. So, no.

BM: Well, he brought up two of his grades, and he told me he wants to go...

DH: That's great that he brought up his grades because that's his ONLY JOB. Even if he was passing everything, I'd STILL be hesitant to spend the money since he told ME he wasn't that interested in going.

BM: Well, he told me he was.

DH: That's fine. I'm not paying for him.

I had to hide the smile on my face, so I couldn't see what BM's reaction was. However, then she started speaking on behalf of OSS for his letter jacket. DH turns to OSS and begins addressing him directly. DH and OSS are conversing, but BM feels the need to butt in with her own two cents about what jacket he wants.

DH looked at her and told her politely once to keep quiet. She didn't. The second time he told her to shut up. She finally did.

Ahh, my DH is BACK, and it is GLORIOUS.

Comments

TrueNorth77's picture

Good for him! 

Meanwhile, at Step-girlfriend's house, my SO is rushing to replace the Iphone 8plus that SS completely destroyed after it "fell off the entertainment center", before even getting the real story of what happened from SS, while simultaneously planning an actual trip to Disney with skids next January. The other day he went into SS's room to "watch him play video games", because SS likes when he does that.

Sigh. I'm jealous of your non-Disney DH, however fleeting it may be.

CompletelyPuzzled's picture

I think it is awesome that your DH stiod his ground on YSS going to DC. If he is failing then he siould have consequences.  However, I might get flamed for this, but I think it was really inappropriate for your DH to tell BM to shut up. He disrespected his teenage son's mother right in front of them.  What kind of lesson does that teach?  

lieutenant_dad's picture

I don't disagree that it came across as disrespectful, but I know DH was annoyed by BM cutting OSS off. And cutting him off when he was trying to talk to OSS. She has a habit of butting in on DH's conversations with the boys and speaking "on their behalf". He was just fed up with her arguing with him, cutting him off, and not stopping when he asked her politely to stop.

Should he have taken the high road? Probably. He almost always does. He was just done with her BS and her being rude to the boys.

shamds's picture

If you’ve told someone multiple times to be quiet and not interrupt you and they don't,  telling them to shut up is the aussie way for “be quiet don’t interrupt me” because she obviously felt she could interrupt others rudely. Sometimes that is the only way she knows not to be rude again