im 46 and everything you are going through im am too! ANd no ONE# understands NO ONE! In my world my BF (soon to be husband) is alot younger....so im alone in this. My mom passed away last year so i have no one to relate too!! Feel free to talk to me privately or even on the phone . I could go on go..........hang in there. All i know is that we will live through this......:)

I am in total agreement with you KK. I had been recently diagnosed with Pulmonary Hypertension when I met my husband. We bonded and confided in each other over the situations beyond our control that were occurring in our lives. I with my health and being told at the age of 28 that I would not live to see 30 and he with a cheating wife. On our first date DH asked me to show him how to take care of me in the event that anything happened to me while he was around. WOW!. I knew then and there that we would eventually marry. He saw my vulenerabilities and embraced them. I am now 8 years beyond the time that the drs gave me and have picked up a few more diagnosis along the way. I have battled Raynaud's disease, Sjogrens Syndrome and Rheumatoid Arthritis (Connective Tissue Disease). My health has greatly improved and married life is still wonderful. The blessing and the curse is that our only marital problems are from dealting with the kids (mainly his). I then began having hormonal problems as well and ended up having a hysterectomy this past Dec. The recovery phase was hell, but I feel like I'm 16 again. I celebrate the fact that I can wear white whenever I want and that no more vacations are ruined because of my erractic cycle. I feel your pain and pray that things get better for you and more than anything I hate the fact that you have problems with Adult Skids. The bright side is that they don't live with you. Just wanted to say that I hear you and empathize with you.

I had a similar experience. My "old" Doc was my GP that handled everything and a male but I had never had any problems with my periods or anything so it was all good. I turned 39 last year and everything went to hell in a handbasket. I changed to a female doc and LOVE her! I went in and had my physical, told her about what had been going on. Problems had been escalating for months, at first I hardly noticed but then it all went downhill. By the time I got in to see her I was anemic from blood loss and having terrible cycles that were unpredictable. My skin and my hair changed in a matter of months, I was irritable, whiny(I cried during commercials) tired, no sex drive, 15-20 pounds overweight, had nightsweats, unable to sleep and was downright mean sometimes.

It sure seemed to me that 39 was a bit young to be having these issues but she assured me that it's all in the genes. Unfortunately for me both my mother and grandmother had full hysterectomies by the time they were 30, no luck finding out if they had early menopause or not. She suggested a birth control pill, very mild but would regulate me and help with some of the symptoms I was having, hell I hadn't been on a pill in 16 years. So I tried it, the first three we tried didn't work so well so we increased dosage, now I'm doing much better. I don't want to take these pills for an extended amount of time but I don't want to go to jail for assault either (if you know what I mean). I am not looking forward to all this, neither is my DH but it's nice to have others around going through the same thing. Hopefully we will all make it through to the "other side". Thanks for the post KittyKat!

~Evil

If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders. ~Abigail Van Buren

is to blame! (just joking)
But seriously, stress can bring all sorts of pms problems. I am 55 and 1 year out from last period. I haven't had one hotflash NO NOTHING. In fact, I feel better than I did at 35.

Obviously some of this is hereditary, but I think a lot has to do with me not doing anything I don't want to. Or, very little of what I don't want to do. It sounds selfish, but at 55 you can be selfish. If I did everything everyone else wanted me to do, I'd be in horrible shape because I can't take the stress that is associated with that. Maybe there is a granule of sage wisdom in there that someone can use.

It would be great if I could do that. I have Lupus, and when I exercise, it can be extremely painful. I am going to talk to my doctor tomorrow about doing something else about my Lupus. Surely there HAS to be a better way than medicating when in pain. Maybe meditation? It is extremely painful most days, and I don't want to get out of bed, but I make myself. I also have 2 very active little boys, and cannot just elect NOT to get out of bed. So I push myself, when I shouldn't. I know as women, we do tend to push ourselves and take care of everyone else when we should be taking care of ourselves.

It's so frustrating to have these unresolved health issues and feeling like you're just "nuts" and it's "all in your head" half the time. We know our bodies and we know when there's something worng with us.

I, too, have been dealing with my own ongoing saga of painful, heavy periods, and uncontrolled mood swings since I was 35. I'm now 41 and I think my GYN has finally gotten a handle on the situation, but it's been a LONG road with surgery and all types of medications. But my doc's terrific! And I think that's half the battle- finding someone who you trust, someone who's proactive, someone who you feel is LISTENING to you.

And the stress of our lives definitely adds to our bodies reacting in a negative way. For me, I also suffer from severe migraines (have since I was 13) and whenever my stress level goes up, I am bound to get more migraines.

I see a neurologist on a monthly basis. He wants to reduce the frequency of the headaches to 1-2/month (currently with all the stress of the kids and DHs ex, I get around 6-7/mo, and that's with taking daily maintenance drugs!)

The doc's running joke to me is, "So have you & DH decided to secretly move away to Tahiti without the children yet?!" Because at this rate, it is the only way I'm ever going to really reduce them.

Hormones/migraines/stress. It's all interconnected. So I feel your pain, KK- quite literally.

And you're right. We do ignore ourselves at times while we are busy trying to 'fix' everyone else- our DHs, our children, our stepchildren. We always seem to come last at the bottom of a very long list.

"If you have never been hated by a child, you have never been a parent."
-Bette Davis

It wasn't a conscious decision because they were male, but because of trial and error with Drs and ending up with the most compasionate, or it may be because I prefer DOs and the ones in my area seem to be mostly men.

My OB/GYN was always a woman, til my second c-cection when I went into labor the day before my scheduled delivery with my usual Dr. So the Dr on call was a male, and fortunately, he was someone who delivered a friend's C-section around the same time, so I was comfortable.

He was the BEST OB/GYN I ever went to. He discovered my thyroid was enlarged and sent my back to my family doc (DO) who said, "I still can't feel it, but Stanley is VERY good at diagnosing."

Sadly, Stanley stopped delivering babies before Anna, due to a bad back (lots of surgeons retire surgery because of this, it's a tough on your back kind of profession.) So I went back to my first Dr who was still delivering and a woman.

I think honestly, the best Dr is one who can show a terrific bedside manner. But I will also tell you that the patient isn't always aware of that. I have worked for the most demanding and relationally challenged jerks, who have patients who love them (do you really care if your Cataract or Corneal surgeon is nice to you? Or do you want to SEE?" Of course that same Dr (who outside the office was very jovial and felt shocked regarding his "jerk" reputation with techs) cussed at me in a room in front of a patient once, and after I walked her out she gave me a hug Didn't say a word about him and his jerkyness, but hugged me as if to say, "I'm sorry you have to work for him." Those were wonderful moments and those understanding sympathetic patients were rare gems to me.

On the other hand I also worked with one of the best diagnosticians who occasionally clashed with a difficult defensive patient who said to me, "He must be an ASS to work for." For him, I would answer, "On the contrary, I rarely get a complaint from patients regarding him, but not everyone can get along with everybody."

So that's my Dr thoughts. DOs are my favorite. They are trained in homeopathic and medical. Good balanced combo.

I have tons of health history and my charts tend to be one of those I always dreaded.... with roman numerals in big black sharpie on the front. As in CHART I, CHART II, CHART III...

Ugh.

On "Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra

Childhood- constant tonsillitis, colds, on antibiotics too much (back then you got a shot of penicillin for any symptom.)

Age 10, onslaught of migraines. Lose vision completely when they occur, parts of my body go numb, then the horrible headache. symptoms only manageable by going to bed for two days.

age 13- first bout with mono

age 13 on- night sweats, extreme fatigue, sudden onset of severe hayfever- first time was covered in hives.

age 15 finally diagnosed...with depression. Miss so much school grades are plunging. I was depressed, but I honestly think it was a combo of my brother's head injury 3 years before, AND whatever illness made me so damn tired.

Age 17- finally get tonsils out. They have literally disintegrated, and one has a hole in it the size of a marble from recurring infection

all through adolescence and into adulthood chronic bladder and yeast infections, as well as severe allergies and colds.

Age 19 in college, miss tons of classes. So tired, but also severe illness off and on.

Finally drop out to work full time.

Age 22, MONO again. Dr says I must not have really had the first time because you "don't catch mono twice."

Throughout my 20's I did my best to suppress my symptoms, tried everything. I worked for my BIL who was a chiropractor and went without anitibiotics except for when I had bladder infections. Then my SIL would be rude about it, saying all I needed was a little cranberry juice. Give me a break. She must have never peed razor blades before.

Age 26- had BS 14. Had severe migraines but they subsided after he was a few weeks old. Staying at home for the first time in adult life and found it much easier to deal with illness due to not have set work schedule.

Age 29- BS 11 is born

All hell breaks loose. Started with a stroke like migraine during prep for C-section. GRATEFULLY, migraine never came to full fruition after epidural, and who knows what other meds were put in me.

BS 11 is about 1 month old when extreme cluster, stroke like migraines begin. The first one is so severe, and unlike anything I ever experienced in all my migrainous life, that I ask now ExH to take me to ER. He instead calls my MD family Dr (who I used to work for) who says to take one of my remaining C-section vicodin, an advil and go to bed. I tell my (now) exH that I can't go to bed. I feel like I won't wake up if I do. But he still refuses to drive me to ER.

Over the next several months, more cluster severe migraines with vertigo, tinnitus, numbness in arms/legs off and on, leg weakness, vision problems begin. Tested for Thyroid. See Ophthalmologist for dilated exam to look for evidence of Diabetes (vessel growth) and MS (optic neuritis) Nothing definitive.

Sent to Fibromyalgia/ CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) Dr at my request.

Diagnosed (of course!) and Localized Fibro, because all my trigger points were above my arms and shoulders, and CFS due to failed tilt table test (neurally mediated hypo tension- when I stand up BP goes DOWN, when I lie down it goes up- and that's not supposed to work that way!)

Have therapy including massage. Also see BIL the chiropractor more often. FINALLY start to improve 6 months after symptoms started.

Stayed married unhappily for another year, due to the fear it would all come back and leave me disabled.

Finally get brave enough to get divorce. At first it seems that this is what my body was crying out for me to do. All symptoms, including fatigue which I was dealing with my whole life, disappear. Even allergies are nearly non-existent and fade away to virtually nothing over the next several years.

BUT....more definitive DXs find me instead.

Age 31- blood clot in left leg. This one's scary. Blamed on BC pills and smoking (had been smoking some then, but only on BC pills for a month or so. Therefore my Dr wasn't convinced and ordered consult by hematologist. I am tested for ever available test under the sun. No rheumatoid, no lupus, no MS (as far as they could tell.) Given clean bill of health. Not sure why blood clot and body are not responding well to treatment.

FINALLY...after almost 2 years on coumadin...blood clot is resolved.

Age 32 (during coumadin therapy) Right breast swells up and is painful, tender. See DO family doc. Checks prolactin levels to make sure I don't have pituitary tumor. BW normal, swelling goes down. I forget about it.

Age 32.5 Seeing my GYN (mentioned above) for routine annual visit. He says, "Did you know you have a growth on your right breast?" Instant dread as have lost an aunt (not blood related) to breast cancer that year. And remembering the swelling that I "forgot" about- out of sight out of mind.

Have first mammogram (first of many) at age 32. Yippee!!! So far so good. Just cysts (that's why the pain and swelling.)

At same vist, GYN says, Did you know your thyroid's enlarged???

And off we go, to another specialist. And I am diagnosed with Hyper thyroid.

More scary migraines a few years later landed me in a neurologist's office. Symptoms are increasingly worse and leave me with slurred speech, memory difficulties, and foggy over all feeling for month or more after episodes. Neurologist thought- seizures perhaps? MS? Failed first EEG- could be seizures/lesions. Had sleep deprived EEG and passed! Strange electrical impulses are in fact migraines- Rare types called "COMPLEX MIGRAINE SYDROME." Meaning stroke like migraines which affect the whole body and have been known to go to full out strokes in some patients. So....fast acting migraine treatments are out as they may cause me to stroke out due to rapid changes in BP.

Yippeee again! So now every time I even think I'm getting one. PERCOCET is immediately consumed.

This works well, at least it has so far. And DH, will not in fact tell me to just take a pill and go to bed, but will be driving me to ER if I ever get a full fledged stroke like one again.

My latest health problem?

Kidney stones! BIG ones. Biggest my Dr had ever seen a patient pass and bring in for inspection. He was in awe of my pain tolerance with that one!

The best possible advice I received during much of this craziness was by the same exSIL who used to annoy me with her medical Dr snobbyness (much the same way the MD's annoyed me with their complaints chiropractors were all quacks.) BUT she did get this one right...

No matter what, do not ever "become" your diagnosis. Sometimes you will never even get one. You have to simply fix what you can and accept you may never know what is really there.

It's ok.

Just don't own an illness or it will consume you.

It's very true.

And I no longer am obsessed with finding out every little thing wrong. No longer afraid I will have a brain tumor or a stroke.

My exh's mom, when she was dying of cancer once told him (on a rainy day, when he apologized for the weather to her)

IT's a DAY.

I have been trying to find that grace ever since.

Goodluck KK.

"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra