Well it has been a few years since i have been on here. I completely forgot about this sight until today. I feel EXTREMELY alone. Only in reading some of the other posts, do I feel that I am not. If you have read my previous blog it would be helpful. If not I will try and recap quickly:
I am a stepmom of a (now) 14yr old SD and 12yr old BS. My husband and I have been married almost 10 years and together for 12. My stepdaughter has been the subjectof many of our fights. She has lied TO many people, ABOUT many people. She (at age 8)lied to her BM that my mother choaked her, then recanted her story when questioned. She has been calling her dad saying that her BM is abbusing her. She has had a broken arm, to which her BM did admit when she got mouthy and talked-back, that she swung her off a stool and she landed on her wrist and broke it. We didn't find out the truth behind the broken arm till a year later. It was at that point that her BM told us that she has been having problems controlLing her at home, and SD called 911 twice. The police apparently showed up and found "no problem". We told BM to get both her and SD in counciling, if not we would be forced to call CPS and at least let them investigate. BM did take her to counciling a hand full of times and the counilor then wanted my husband to go to one session. He did go and mentioned the broken arm, to which the councilor new nothing about it. Neither SD nor her BM bothered to mention it. At the end of my husband telling her, she stated she had to by law, report any suspected abbuse. She claimed that at this time she didnt suspect any. After which time SD has stated her BM has slapped her, giving her bloody noses; pushed her into walls, bruising her back; grabbing her arms, leaving scratchs and bruises (seen pics SD took with cell phone). SD has called MY cell while I was at work MANY times wanting me to come pick her up, that her and her mom were fighting again. I explained that I was not legally able to take her from her mothers home without permission. She then stated making numberous calls to my husband while he was at work staing that her wrist hurt again because her BM grabbed her again. Her BM then got on the phone and stated she couldnt handle her anymore and wasnt sure she wanted to be a mother. That was right before summer break, and so my husband decided to take more control and stated we will take her for 2 1/2 months of the summer. (all the while we paid $400 a month in child support while we had her) While at our home SD continually caused problems within the house. Lying, sneaking, manipulating, screaming, throwing tantrums, etc... Her dad told me that I needed to give her a break and that I was being to hard on her whenever I caught her in a lie or she disobeyed. This caused MAJOR problems between the two of us. She constantly sent text messages to her BM, BM's mom (and HER boyfriend), her BM's EX boyfriends, not to mention to her dad... ALL lies about what I did or not did, said or not said, etc... When i confronted her with the lies she turned it back on me and ran to her dad saying MORE lies about me. To which he jumped to her defense. One such time I told her I wasnt going to talk with her until she admitted to her dad SHE lied. She DID tell him the truth finally and he did NOTHING, saying their "talk" was punishement enough even though he didnt talk to ME for two days saying I was to blame.
My SD has sprayed cleaner in BS face, slapped him across the face, hit him in the back, and even after I witness it she still sticks to the "i didnt do anything" defense. She has sent text messages to her dad saying she feels like killing someone or hurting herself, and neither her BM or dad do anything about it, saying they "talked to her". She wrote once that she "hated her SB so much that she could punch him AND WILL". And another time wrote that she wanted "help to do something to me and her SB so that we would be sorry for how we treat her". My husband has had to take her to the doctor 3 times for her wrist being hurt by her BM. Broke once, sprained once, and this last time the growth plate is "seperated" (TWO CASTS out of these 3 incidences) My SD (at 14yrs old) has accused my (then)11yr BS and her cousin of "touching her" and wondered if she could be pregnant. When we sat her down and talked with her, her story changed to that all of the kids were "dancing" and were bumping into her. Her dad and I explained that this kind of lie could seriously hurt someones reputation. Her dad again made no consequence for the lie stating that "talking to her" was enough. Her BM took her Ipod away from her and had to lock it in her car in her purse. My SD had then gone into the car when she wasnt looking and stole it back. She proceeded to hide it here at my house. I had no idea that she had it taken away until I over heard her telling her SB. I confronted her with it and gave her a chance to admit the truth. She went on to say that her "mother didnt say she COULNDT have it here". A few minutes later she came back hysterically crying telling me not to tell her mom. I told her i wasnt about to lie to her mother and called her. The BM stated she DID NOT have permission to have it and to take it from her. SD proceeded to get mad at me and texted her dad while he was at work saying I was screaming at her and calling her stupid and other such words. This past week she had gone with her SB with MY mother to the church to do work for the impact center for the needy. My mother told BOTH kids up front that they will NOT be on their cell phones, that they are there to work. My SD was caught texting for over 15 minutes and was told to hand over the phone. My mom proceeded to put the phone in her purse and in a cupboard. About an hour later she saw my SD with it again and my mother took it AGAIN from her. I brought this up to my husband so he could deal with the problem and again he turned it on everyone BUT his daughter. He blamed my mom for singling HIS daughter out and didnt take MY sons phone away (he had been warned up front as was she. HE didnt get on his phone once). I asked what he was going to do about her going through my moms purse and he said he "talked to her" and that my mom didnt have the right to take it from her.
Because of the last incident of SD wrist in a cast and the fighting between her BM, her BM dropped her off on our doorstep at 9:30pm a few weeks ago, and has been here ever since. SD is failing three classes, missing a lot of school, hanging out with kids that are smoKing, drinking, drugs, and are sexually active. I insisted that if she is to stay here there will be rules. That she will go to school every day, do her homework and turn it in on time, go to the tutoring i set up on a regular basis, and go to counciling. He agreed and set up counciling. The councilor wanted to see us first and my husband was excited stating then SHE will tell ME that i am the problem and am to harsh with his daughter. We went and when all was said and done she looked at HIM and told him that he better appreciate what I have done and put up with because most people would have given up. She also told him that his daughter is playing him and everyone else (manipulating) and that HE needs to "step up and get tough on her". After we left he then stated that I lied to the councilor and that SHE didnt let him tell HIS side of things. I am affraid that I am fighting a loosing battle. I am AFFRAID she will tell some EXTREME lies about me or my son or family that will end in legal issues. She has shown that she is capible of doing so when you dont do what she wants or disapline her. I understand the father-daughter bond, but when will he actually see that its NOT everyone elses fault when his daughter gets into trouble. I am not sure i have the strenght to continue. Maybe one day when his next wife or girlfriend or two have this SAME problem he will realize (to late) that it wasnt ME!