I have SD12 and SS13 and BD2 and happily married. My husband split in a very ammicable way with his Ex when kids were only 18months and 3 years old. I have been in their lives for 7 years now and everything has been rosy and "textbook' wonderful. I have always treated the kids equally and love them like my own. Their mum has had several marriages and been very unstable as in moving all the time (quite a distance from school and their friends) and always has had the next guy lined up before the ink has dried on her divorce. We have always been the constant in the kids lives and always had a great family environment. We have never spoken negativly of their mum in front of them and have 50% shared custody.

The problem had started with my SD13 when he started highschool. He attacked me verbally about 5 months ago by saying he hated me and that he didn't like the way that I made him do things around the house. This was so out of the blue! We resolved the issue with a family discussion and he ended up apologising and saying that he never hated me..he was just frustrated. I spoke to him about growning up and hormones and how it all sucks being a teen etc.

This has started again, but it is getting worse. My husband has been suffering from a medical condition for the past 4 months but until recently it has meant that I have had to take on extra responsibility of telling the kids to keep up with their chores etc. I have absolutely no problem with SD12 helping..In fact...she is a little gem, but I am now getting the attitute of " you're not my mother" and "you cant tell me what to do" from SS13. It is breaking my heart as I saw this kid as one of my own. He has been telling other mother's of how horrible I am and lying about things he does. He is also saying that he doesn't think its fair that I treat my bio daughter differently to him. I didn't think I did, but a 2 year old needs more guidance than a 13 year old boy. I know that I am an easy target, but he is creating a stressful homelife and has made me really upset. I am not sure how to handle this situation. Do I act like nothing has happened? or do I stop doing things for him? Or do I do the opposite and shower him with love??? HELP! Other than being completed devastated that this kid hates me so much and holds all this contempt for me, what do I do to get him back on track and intune with the rest of our loving family...My husband has been trying to be really supportive, but SS isn't listening to him much either....