I DIDN'T PLAN ON THIS
Last week after the fiasco that was DH & BM custody hearing we wind up coming home with SS9 for what seems to be the REST of the summer, or at least until schools starts again where he lives,this was supposedly decided by the mediator at the custody hearing. Not sure i buy that becasue BM and DH apparently were texting whe we were driving to court so they may have worked this out on their own and DH doesn't dare tell me the truth. I can deal with the weekend visits becasue i know they will eventually end but now he is here for approx 8 weeks which is 8 more than I am ready for. I am working from and I am expected to sign on and be available for my regular 7.5 hour day. I don't really think that DH takes that too seriously and just thinks that hey she's home she can babysit. My SS is 9 and is what I consider to be very immature, he is sneaky and has to be watched constantly. My DH thinks he can do no wrong and has proven that to me each time I have a comment to make about him. When I met DH I knew he had a small child but he lived with BM so it wasnt an issue. We just had to move becasue the apartment that we lived in didn't have a bedroom for SS so we bought a house.
I'm learning that my parenting ways are very different from DH so I have started to back away from being involved with parenting SS. My kids were not given special meals at dinner, SS hasn't eaten anything we have made since he has been here even if its something we know he likes. DH got upset with me yesterday becasue SS hadn't brushed his teeth all day, he hadn't brushed them becasue I refused to stand over him and watch him do it I asked him 3 times if they had been done and was told yes, he also talks constantly so don't plan on watching a movie or a tv show with him in the room becasue he talks or will have wrestling playing on his tablet and stand in front of you so you can watch someone be body slammed whether you want to or not.
I get angry with DH becasue I can't believe he thought that having a child at 48 was a good idea especially with the piece of crap that is BM, but that was a very dark time in DH life and he always said that his son was the only good thing to come out of that.
I'm 55 and way too old to be starting to play mommy again and I don't want to.
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Comments
I think it's perfectly
I think it's perfectly reasonable to tell DH that he finds child care for SS, and if he won't, then SS will be on his own while you work. Get some nanny cams for the next few weeks so that you're protected in case SS lies more (though lying about brushing teeth is within the realm of normal for a kid). Don't give a third option where you're the babysitter. This is an either/or scenario.
Yep, summer camp. Or lock
Yep, summer camp. Or lock your office door at home (hoping you have an office) and SS is on his own. He can make himself sandwiches and turn on the TV.
None of this is your responsibility.
UNFORTUNATELY
My dinning room is my office LOL so there is NO escaping him. Had i known when we went to court that he was comming home with us for the rest of the summer I would have said something. This isn't the first time we have had him for the summer but in previous years he had gone to day camps. SS causes stress between DH and myself mainly becasue DH babyfies him.
I agree with all the comments
I agree with all the comments above...it is not your job to babysit this child. If your DH wants him around, then he needs to take responsibility for him.
BM tried to get DH to take SSs (both 14) while school was closed. I told him, "no way" because I knew I would get stuck being in charge and I'm not interested. BM is the custodial parent, so she can figure it out. She wanted us to take them in without reducing the CS she receives, so no again.
Your duh needs to pull the
Your duh needs to pull the finger out and realize that he has a son to take care of. This kid is his responsibility, not yours. He wants his kid to brush his teeth., he stands over him he doesn't get to get pissy with you. You're not his mother.
You wrote: "...and DH doesn't
You wrote: "...and DH doesn't dare tell me the truth." That would be the dealbreaker for me.
If you plan to stay in the marriage, disengage from DH's child. You did not agree to babysit so DH needs to hire one or take the child to work with him.
You need to dump childcare
You need to dump childcare back in DH's lap pronto. Especially since around here they are discussing only sending children back part-time in September. You are not free childcare. This was their agreement you cannot be voluntold without your permission.
Your working
So either DH takes SS with him to work every day. Or he finds childcare ! That camp he gets SS to and picks up, or child care place where he does dropoff and pickups. Or back to BM SS goes
Time to make this your hill to died for.
If your DuH thinks it's so
If your DuH thinks it's so easy-peasy to take care of his son, let him take him to work every day. There is absolutely no reason why he should be disturbing your working day so let him disturb his father's.