DH HATES DS21
I am convinced that my DH hates my son.
My son is 21, has a job as a cashier so he doesn't yet make enought to support himself. he has his car insurance and phone bill plus he gives us $200 a pay for household expenses. He is a good kid, polite keeps to himself . My DH has a huge issue in that DS plays video games when he is not working. Yesterday befor DS got home from work DH started spewing hateful remarks about him, stating that he must be gay since he doesn't have a girlfriend. I said what difference would it make if he were, he is my son. I was told that he NEEDED to know, yeah ok. My husband is one of those people that unless things are done his way they are wrong, he complains constantly about cooking yet if I cook dinner he complais about what I made, he is never happy. I find it funny that he complains that my DS never goes out I guess he would like it better if he were using drugs and I stayed up all night worrying about him. I am at my wits end, the stress level in my home is very high and I have told DS that he needs to live with his grandparents until we can think of something else. I'm unhappy becasue I choose to be with this man, my son shouldn't have to deal with this crap and he shouldn't be homeless either. I'm not coddling him. DH was invited to live with DS and I after he was suddenly homeless shortly after I started dating him, I later found out he was also a drug addict which. I need to get out of this situation. it isn't healthy for me. I told DS what DH said yesterday. I told him he needed to move out for his own happyness.
- kd622's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
I vote for booting DH out
I vote for booting DH out instead of DS, personally.
Though I will say - does DS have a plan for becoming independent of you?
This sounds like a much
This sounds like a much better solution.
Yes, leaving your husband is
Yes, leaving your husband is a must. He's a toxic/abusive a-hole. That's a given.
But, your son is 21, working a job that won't sustain him, and spends his extra time doing an activity that isn't bettering him to a point where he can be independent. That is *also* a problem. Your son needs to be taking steps to become independent so that he doesn't spend his life in poverty.
Ditch the husband and work with your son to make a better life for him. And work on yourself so that you don't get trapped by another a-hole man.
I also think you would be
I also think you would be better off asking your partner to move out.
Your son sounds like a good lad, he is employed at the moment when so many youngsters have an excuse not to be (covid 19), and actually it’s pretty sensible not going out socialising too much at the moment.
I gave you this advice the
I gave you this advice the last time your posted about your H and Son. My advice stands:
"The fact that your son is afraid to start his own life because he feels the need to protect you is all that I can think about with your post.
Do you really want your son to not have his own life, wife and family because of your bad choice in marriage? I am sorry to be so blunt- but I think it really needs to be said that way."
You need to kick your husband out. Your son is fine. You WILL be fine once you move on, but you need to move on.
thank you
I have told DS that he needs to get his own place sooner than later so that is a goal that he has set for himself. He also said that the reason he isn't interested in a relationship is becasue he sees the grief that I have been going through.
Don't worry about your son
Don't worry about your son getting his own place right now. He can help you get back on your feet alone. Hopefully once he sees you thriving again and maybe in a healthy relationship one day he will feel safe to do so too.
Sounds like it is time to
Sounds like it is time to look after yourself first and show your son how to end a bad relationship and move on in life. Let him know that people don't have to sit in relationships that are not working for them.
What is your hesitation in ending your relationship?
no hesitation
I will have to leave when he is not home. I tried to leave before and he stopped me. I will have to get my things in order to do so.
Kick him out! Why would you
Kick him out! Why would you leave? Serve him with eviction and divorce papers.
Do it while your son is home so you have support.
Call 9-1-1 if he gets violent and have a protection order served on him.
Don't leave, call the police
Don't leave, call the police and tell them that you fear for your safety. They'll escort him off the premises. Then you file for a restraining order.
Also
everything is in my name. The mortgage of the house we share and all of the bills. He has no credit at all.
I would contact a domestic
I would contact a domestic abuse organisation near you and ask them for help and advice as to what steps to take and how to do it. You absolutely should not be leaving a house that is in your name but are wise to want to take steps to protect yourself.
Why would you leave if
Why would you leave if everything is in your name? Do not do that. He needs to leave!
Please listen to what your
Please listen to what your son is telling you... He's already told you that he fears for your safety, now he's telling you how awful your relationship really is. Heed this - your life might depend on it.
Your son is a gem. Trust him.
Boot DH out
If everything is in your name then why make your BS leave when he is being respectful and responsible. Your DH needs to GTFO and be gone.
You might have to leave your
You might have to leave your home and possessions until you can get a lawyer to represent you, but what's the alternative? Living in fear for you and your son's life? Things are just things and can be replaced, you and your son cannot.
Seek help from a group for abused and battered women. They can help you get the legal ball rolling and get this douche canoe out of your life. The first step is always the hardest, but it's worth it.
Any husband dumb enough to complain about wifes cooking
but yet doesn’t cook for himself is an idiot