Hire the lawyer or not update
I told DH this morning that if he planned on hiring the lawyer he had to make his decision sooner rather than later. We actually hadn't talked it about it at all since the paperwork with the new court date was received on monday. I was told the he didn't think so becasue he didn't see how she could help him (again had he listened to her advice at mediation she may have ). I am guessing that DH and BM will do the same thing that they did a year ago when DH filed in our county go to mediation and then back out when the court date comes up. I am also guessing that DH has had his full of being a full time dad to SS9. Since he has been with us he has brioken his bed (wrestling moves) broken our coffee table and disconnected his TV from the cables on numerous occasions but NEVER seems to know anything about any of it. Supposedly BM has been in contact and wants to take SS to some amusement park but didn't give a day. I told DH that he needed to spend some time with SS and talk about what is going one, see what he wants to do,, does he want to live with his Bipolar crazy B**** mom or live with us in a nice stable environment.
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I don't think letting kids
I don't think letting kids make adult choices is ever the right move. You and your DH need to decide what the plan for SS is going to be- do you want to have him there full time or not. Is BM capable of taking care of him or not? He has a duty as a father to do the right thing for his kid and he has the duty to you as his wife to make this transition as easy on you as possible. It is a lot of work for him but his life choices led to this place and he is going to have to deal with it.
How do you let SS 9 yo
Take control of where he wants to live. Do you want to make this a Disney and fun contest? He will go live with who ever is more fun and not interfere with his bad choices. Who allow the later bed time. More screen time, who allows less homework,
Your DH doesn't want to parent This kid should go to BM. Maybe she can do a better job
Miss,
Miss,
Stop suggesting dh do this, or do that.
Are YOU, yes YOU, willing to shell out 60K or more in attornies fees over the next many years. How about 95K plus dh's child support. For nothing but drama?
UNLESS BM ends UP with a few felony charges then convication, custody will not change. Even then, she will regain custody after some time goes by.
Please knock it off regarding asking dh's 9 year old where he wants to live. IF you are so concerned about him, call cps or the police and let them invisigate. It is unlikely bm's mental health (if true diagnosis) is enough to alter current placement. Dont you know it is ok for moms to have many different mental health problems. It is ok for them to be felons too.
Please please, just enjoy your days and plan for your lives MINUS all this drama via the court and custody. Make plans to go camping,,,,or make plans for going to the beach. Focus on YOUR home not bm's.
Make step sons life in your home as pleasent as you can. Once you hire a lawyer---and modify for custody you can kiss your life goodbye as you know it. Many bm's have free lawyers. Buckle up.
WASTE OF TIME AND MONEY
We received the paperwork for the custody trial September 16. DH has decided that he is not going to hire the attorney that he used for the mediation. I am pretty sure that his plan is to just not show up. He puts on this big facade about being a caring dad and wanting the best for his poor son but when push comes to shove he pussies out. I think he realizes what a handful his son is and doesn't have it in him to be a full time dad.