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Interesting read and thoughts

Kamore's picture

Submitted by Kamore on Sat, 08/26/2023 - 9:23am

I was reading this article

( https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/asked-wife-she-save-her-160000688.html ) and it really made sense to me based on where I am currently as a step parent.

Basically in the article step that expresses that although mom/his wife would choose her son over her husband, he would not choose his stepson over his wife. He explains this by saying that she is mom's child biological parent so she would do anything for him, but he has a stepparent, and does not have that same connection and simply cares for his wife more!

 They are currently getting it a divorce. Although the article states that they aren't 100% sure that that's the reason I'm sure it plays a big part in it.
 

I am currently going through similar feelings for my step child. I recently disengaged because it turns out all the drama between his mom and I was being made by what he would go tell his mom on visits about me. Even though I am the only parent that buys him things, take some nice places, was helping with homework and things like that, I somehow became the scapegoat in his mind to cover for all his bad behavior. Somehow just being a evil stepmom toward him. So I disengaged. I longer speak to him other than to tell him here. I no longer take him places with me, no longer offer him anything of mine. Not to be spiteful, but to protect myself. I work in public office, so I cannot have child services investigating me based on what a selfish and spiteful teenager says or does. I'm at a point where I no longer care what happens to him and I really wish he would just go stay with his mom full-time. Maybe then he will really say that she doesn't care at all. She's just looking for a check and a babysitter for her 2 other children. 

Comments

grannyd's picture

Submitted by grannyd on Sat, 08/26/2023 - 12:24pm

When I was about fifteen years old, I asked my mom which of her eight children she'd save if we were all drowning. She answered that, since she'd taught us all how to swim (she'd been a lifeguard in her late teens), none of us would be in that situation. 

Winterglow, you are absolutely right; 'you have to be daft to ask a question like that in the first place.'  Fool

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Sat, 08/26/2023 - 10:43pm

However, If I were this guy and were to answer it, my answer would be that "I would do whatever I could to save you both".

If she pushed I would go logic brain to the hilt and clarify that "I would rescue whoever was closer and that I had best chance of saving then would go back for the other."

My guess... his wife was ready to divorce him anyway. If I knew I was being asked this by someone who was about to divorce me, and had a toxic kid .... my answer would be very different... direct.... and brutal. 

"Neither. Good luck to you both. Buh-bye"

No explanation, just ... "See ya!"