What would you think of this???
BM called the other day, our friend answered the phone, she though it was DH and proceeds to tell him that SS11 is in trouble, then puts SS11 on the phone. This is the only time she calls or has the kids call, not for DH birthday, christmas, whatever. ONLY when SS's are in trouble. SS11 got angry because his brother pulled him out of a chair or something like that and SS11 told him to "go f#$k your dog in the a$$" Of course, I don't talk to SS11 about this, but my initial thought is, where is he learning to talk like that?? He doesn't get it from us, the one time a year we see them. Then he tell us the brother doesn't get into any trouble for the things he does to SS's that gets them mad in the first place. I think she just want DH to yell at SS's so he can look like the meanie or something. I don't know what to make of this. She doesn't want DH involved in ANY other aspect of the SS's lives, other than to have DH reprimand them from clear across the united states. Just frustrated. She won't talk to DH to try and figure out what is going on.
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hey girl.....
long time... been thinking about ya! So, is this the 1st time you guys have spoken witht he boys in a long time? How are they doing in school? Did they ever tell their counselor anything? I think it sucks that she puts DH in that position. I sure hope that Dh just tells SS to pretend he's being disciplined and then talks to him instead. Poor little guys!
DH talks to the kids on a
DH talks to the kids on a pretty regular basis, as long as he is the one that calls. I am not sure how they are doing in school, but I know they haven't talked to the counselor. DH lets the kids know the behavior BM called us about isn't the right way to handle things, but he doesn't yell and keep harping. They end up having a good conversation. It just seems like one more attempt on her part to put a wedge in between DH and the boys. I on the other hand e-mailed her a long letter stating we have to put the past in the past and learn to work together for the benefit of the children. She was putting terrible things on her myspace about DH and after my e-mail, she took them down, so hopefully we can work together to figure some things out, I am honestly not very hopeful, but I am trying to make things better for the boys. At least until something isn't going well in her life. But, the boys all in all sound like they are doing ok. They said their brother isn't molesting them anymore, but that he still acts very gay, their step-father isn't throwing them around anymore, but I also feel like maybe BM was listening to the converstion and SS11 was just saying what he needed to say to not cause trouble. I don't know. I have really stepped back from the situation as I simply can't handle the stress of it all, but yet, I still try. :?
Making the decision to have a child is momentous~ It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside of your body~
I am glad to hear that they
are not being abused (in any form) anymore! I am glad that DH talks to them regularly! I still feel so bad for them though. I know how much you love those boys, and I hope someday that BM will turn loose of them and let you guys have them!
Do you think that the email affected her? Did she respond?
She never did respond, but
She never did respond, but like I said, she removed the derogatory remarks and stuff from her myspace. I am sure she thinks I have ulterior motives for wanting to make this work peacefully, but, the only motive I have is the boys. I want to be able to discuss problems and communicate and negotiate on things. I think where my whole desire stems from is I have a lot of family members that are ex's and new wives and kids and they all get along, myspace each other,can talk about problems, things are peaceful and good and then I have other family members that would just as soon shoot each other than to make peace for the kid sake. Maybe I just live in some fantasy world where things can be peaceful.
Making the decision to have a child is momentous~ It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside of your body~
I think it's great that you
extended the olive branch. Maybe removing that stuff was her way of accepting!
I have extended the olive branch more time than I can count only to have her beat me about the head with it. 
I gave up, she's mentall ill and I can't win with her.
I do applaud you for going beyond for the boys! AWESOME!!!
Has your DH ever spoken with her about not calling him when the boys are in trouble? I think it's rather unfair of her myself. why can't she handle them on her own? Then again, maybe it's better she calls him instead of having her Dh handle them!
I tell him he needs to talk
I tell him he needs to talk to her, but she always provokes an argument and he has just given up trying to talk to her at all. Unfortunately, that leaves me to do the talking. She does talk to me sometimes when SS's are doing poorly, but she won't accept that they are learining behaviours from her house and not from us. She knows the reasons behind the way they act, but refuses to do what needs to be done to correct it. I think she is afraid if the boys get into counseling or whatnot, that they will be telling the counselors things she does NOT want them to know. DH really has tried to talk to her, but she makes it impossible to have a decent conversation as she has so much anger and bitterness, but then again, so does DH.
Making the decision to have a child is momentous~ It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside of your body~
BM does the same thing to
BM does the same thing to us. Could care less if DH is in Skids life except for child support until she can't handle them. Then she wants DH to discipline them. DH has a hard enough time trying to get his kids to spend time with him and BM making him the only one that punishes them makes things even harder.
It sucks even worse in our
It sucks even worse in our case because we only see Skids one time a year. The phone calls are all we have in between and it sucks to have them used for BM to have DH punish them.
Making the decision to have a child is momentous~ It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside of your body~