After lots of arguing with DH about ss11 and he needs counseling and we need parenting classes...I resorted to calling local PD for parent assistance lines after SS11 threatened to kill his teachers baby, and told another student he had a samuri knife ( Not) that he was going to bring to school- what is ss11 thinking.??????????
Yesterday he told another kids to "go suck his mothers boobs" I promptly got a call from the school to come and get him ( He is already serving 4 days detention as it is).
This kid is getting attention but is clearly screaming for more.DH does not want to do what it takes to do the counseling work, SS11 says he won't talk in couseling- I'm done, overhelmed and so distressed. DH books ticket to send SS11 back to BM in Texas.
I almost laughed at DH when he said this morning he feels like he failed SS11 -I told him you did and BM did. BM won't support the discipline and boundaries we set- she tells ss11 he doesn't have to do whatever I say. I told DH you failed him because you didn't want to do the counseling work he needs nor does he- Nor have either of you tried- it will take months of counseling to undo the damage of the last 5 years his anger with you for leaving him and his mom - his abandonment feeling and then to work on all the other stuff it wasn't going to happen without help ( counseling & 3rd party) and it was going to take a lot of time and energy.
Unfortunately I am the one stuck with ss11 7 days a week after school and weekends- I have to be disciplanarian, mom, step mom, and the one he hates because I set boundaries and rules. I am also taking care of 1 year old grandson who we have been raising since birth.
BM has the nerve to say we are sending back ss11 because the grandchild is more important than SS11 is to DH -I have been doing the best I can but I have had it with the drama and the shit going on.
BM has never been consistent with ss11 thats why she couldn't control him and he was at a youth ranch for months before coming to us.She is delusional that life with her is going to be any better than it was before. It won't be better when he goes back to her it will be worse because she will inflict more shit in this kids head that his dad doesn't love him etc....I am at a loss what else to do next.....my guts are turning inside everyday....I am open to suggestions.....