This settlement is driving me crazy

Quick recap: We have been operating off a temp CS order for over 5 years. We have requested in court no less that 7 times that the judge make a final ruling on CS. He had not... until last month. He concluded, without any income documentation from BM that DH was paying roughly $500/ per month less that he should of and backed dated for 5 years. We have the ordered being halted and BM was supposed to provide her tax returns by last Friday- which she did not. There were also no other deductions that should have been calculated in. Now, I always knew were were underpaying but I was thinking more like $100-150. So this was quite the shock.

Current Issue: Over the weekend we got everything her lawyer is demanding it totals 32K. There is a ton for back medical expenses, some of which- like his orthodontist- that we paid already. It also shows that he wasn't making payments for 8 months after he started making payments. So that's fun. Anyway, suffice to say our weekend was rather ruined.

We told our attorney to respond with: Proof of when medical bills (going back to 2013) were presented so we can verify what was already paid. That SS has vision insurance under my name, just because BM doesn't like that doesn't mean that if she doesn't use it we are on the hook- he has insurance. That their timeline is off and when DH actually started paying BM. We also pushed on the issue of her taxes again.

Dh always paid half of every medical bill ever sent to him. Every time without fail. So if she didn't send it, not our problem. One of her line items in the medical bills say "Total since 2019" with not explanation of when or where "$1646.24"--- that is a hard pass you crazy B.

Also- we bought the ticket for spring break Friday. About 2 hrs later SS texts DH and says "I'm not coming, I'm staying home for spring break". We don't really care. DH isn't mad or anything about that, but don't think for a second we wont use that in court for this settlement considering I doubt anything will be done by the time SS is supposed to be here! Please don't get on the plane, give us something else we can use against BM! Please!

justmakingthebest's blog
Log in or register to post comments

Comments

What an ugly battle. I'm

What an ugly battle. I'm sorry the arrears are such a shock, it's crazy he's being punished with a long term temp order and the back CS due to BM not cooperating.

No advice, good luck ): I hope it get resolved soon. Document absolutely everything!

Ugh

Hopefully it will be done one way or another soon. What an enourmous pain for you and your family.

Egads

That sucks. Good luck!

Give them a data dump of

Give them a data dump of every cancelled check and receipt you have! As long as you have the receipts and can back your claims they can't just take what you can prove has been paid. When Meth Mouth took DH back for non payment of CS and Spousal support, we had the receipts. Meth Mouth was planning on a pay out of about 35k, with our receipts we were able to knock it down to 10k. She actually had the balls to tell DH she would settle on 15k. DH told her nope he felt he only owed her about 5k, which in reality it was close about 6k, but they rounded up to average out arrears. So over all she got a payout which sucked, but not the one she was hoping for and that gave me some satisfaction.

Thank you for the hope. I

Thank you for the hope. I knew we would owe some but not like this and of course the lying again and not being held accountable to show her income, which will drop the CS owed greatly just infuriates me!

It is extremely frustrating,

It is extremely frustrating, especially since the burden of proof seems to be put all on the man and never on the BM. My DH had to obtain a copy of Meth Mouth's marriage certificate to prove when she had gotten remarried. If he hadn't provided that to the court Meth Mouth was under no obligation to show it. By him showing when she was remarried that took of two years of back owed Spousal support. Even when she was caught lying the court claimed she must have been confused on her dates...so rather than hold her in contempt they gave her an easy out.

The amount of times we have

The amount of times we have heard "I don't believe she did this maliciously, so I will not hold her in contempt". Whereas, if DH did 1/10 of the shit she has pulled he would have been in jail!

My Dear Girl,

As you may know, you are one of favorite posters on this site; one of the most decent, honest, compassionate and generous young women of my internet acquaintance. However, at this juncture in your current post, my rage at your husband’s satanic ex-wife has rendered me medically incapable of reading another line. Blood pressure, nome sayin’?

At my age (like yon wise JRI, I’m 77, URG!), my tolerance for injustice is waning. The unadulterated, biased malarkey that you and your DH have endured from his monster ex and the judicial circus would be almost comedic, if it were not so terribly destructive.

I’m not waiting for the karma bus to run over ‘The Great Bitch’ yet yearn for my intense, personal loathing to grant her 30 extra pounds. All on her ass.

Well said!

And I agree with what was suggested upthread - I'd send her copies of every receipt and every piece of relevant paper. Make her pay her lawyer to go through it all.

I am compiling as much as I

I am compiling as much as I can, I am just so over it.

However, as wonderful as DH is, he sucks at this kind.of thing and I am the one that this will fall on. Hunter and gatherer in the 21st century lol

Maybe I am a little

Grannyd- Maybe I am a little intoxicated right now and DH is on duty tonight so I am just over it and feeling so overwhelmed so as tears roll down my face, I just wanted tonsay thank you for your words.

Ughhhh. What a pain to have

Ughhhh. What a pain to have to backtrack through years of payments and bills. I guarantee that causing frustration for you was her primary goal. Bitch. I wish you could just say "we won't be engaging in any further action or discussion regarding this until BM submits her tax returns." I know you can't do that, but it would be completely justified if you could.

Our BM would always try to pull stuff with medical bills, like letting them accumulate and then dropping thousands on us at once. Or sending the initial bill, but never letting us know if the amount due was reduced due to insurance payments, etc so we would be overpaying her and she just pocketed the difference. When we figured out what she was doing, we started calling providers directly to get totals and paying half directly to them instead of reimbursing BM. She absolutely lost her mind and I loved it.