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It's Cancer

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Tue, 07/14/2020 - 11:45am

My mom just called it is cancer. It is rapidly moving so things are going to move quickly with her treatment. She has an MRI next week and meeting with her surgeon the following Monday. She has already decided to to a double mastectomy. I am a mess and feel so helpless to help her. I don't do well with things being out of my ability to "fix". I have already apologized to my dad for stepping on his toes in the future but I am a control freak and plan on being there for her in every way possible. He said don't worry he has steel toe shoes- LOL

Any prayers or good vibes or whatever you want to send her way would be appreciated. I am so close to my mom and I just can't believe this is happening. 

 

Comments

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Tue, 07/14/2020 - 11:51am

Oh no, I'm so sorry. Depending on the stage, she has a good chance of beating it. 

halo1998's picture

Submitted by halo1998 on Tue, 07/14/2020 - 12:00pm

Stay postive and I love your Dad's response.  

ESMOD's picture

Submitted by ESMOD on Tue, 07/14/2020 - 12:04pm

Sorry the news was not better.  Hopefully the treatment options will give her a good outcome.  I know this can't be easy.. but life isn't easy.. I'm so sorry.

ITB2012's picture

Submitted by ITB2012 on Tue, 07/14/2020 - 12:14pm

 This is so scary. 

If it helps you to know of positive outcomes, I have several friends who unfortunately got breast cancer and fortunately are all 10+ years past their diagnosis and treatment. Your mom has a really good chance these days of this being a bump in the road and not a new road.

EveryoneLies's picture

Submitted by EveryoneLies on Tue, 07/14/2020 - 12:26pm

Sorry to hear that...I don't have much to say and I can't imagine how hard it is. i wish your family the best and hope you all can get through this.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Tue, 07/14/2020 - 12:26pm

Prayers and Hugs!

My sister had a double and is now 5+ years cancer free. Our cousin is almost 15 years CF.

Doing a complete double and with the treatment available, she has a good chance.

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Tue, 07/14/2020 - 12:39pm

Thank you everyone. 

Waiting to get more information is excruciating. 

--figureditout--'s picture

Submitted by --figureditout-- on Tue, 07/14/2020 - 1:17pm

I had a cancer scare myself last fall. Markers were elevated and there was a mass on my ovary and in the uterus. Hubby was on the way to the hospital when they gave me the biopsy results. I was actually writing letters to my kids to be read after my death because the doctors gave such a bleak picture before the specimens were looked at 

My thoughts are with you and your family.

SeeYouNever's picture

Submitted by SeeYouNever on Tue, 07/14/2020 - 1:56pm

I'm so sorry please take good care of yourself and your mother. Lots of hard decisions to make, be sure you listen to what she really wants and be her best advocate with the doctors.

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Tue, 07/14/2020 - 2:16pm

I know its like a sock to the stomach thing. That is how I felt when my mother called me with the news.

Prayers for her!

susanm's picture

Submitted by susanm on Tue, 07/14/2020 - 2:40pm

Sending best wishes for an excellent outcome for your mother and peace for you and the rest of the family.  In a lot of ways you have the toughest part trying to be of help to her while managing your own anxiety.  I get it.  It is almost like "give me the damned scalpel so that I can do the surgery myself - I have to DO SOMETHING!"  Please keep us posted and know that there are a bunch of women you have never even met who will be thinking about you.

MaggieMay's picture

Submitted by MaggieMay on Thu, 07/16/2020 - 8:52pm

wanted to share because when people hear cancer they automatically think the worst.

my mom had breast cancer over 20 years ago. It was very aggressive, the tumor more than doubled in size between the time it was found and when they operated a month later.  It was the size of a lemon.  She had a mastectomy and then chemo.  They had to stop chemo and switch to radiation because she actually had tumor regrowth while on chemo.  Apparently, sometimes the blood vessels they cut during surgery can prevent the chemo reaching everywhere it needs to go.

The surgeon told my fathe that the cancer WILL come back.  Keep your fingers crossed, but that was over 20 years ago and so far so good.   She outlived the surgeon.  She went on to be one of the first people at her hospital to have reconstruction using her own tissue instead of implants.  She was a tourist attraction in the hospital because everyone wanted to check out the new procedure.  It’s so common now that they do reconstruction during the mastectomy now.  The only complication she has is lymphedema in one arm.  I tell you this so that you know that it  is a battle, but it’s winnable. She did a lot of relaxation exercises, and my dad had found a study that had very good results with fish oil, so she took fish oil.  They stopped the study early because it was working so well.  I think that was when they first were learning about omega 3.  There’s probably a lot more info out there now.

Other than the fish oil, she just followed normal treatment.  There is a book, something like 50 Essential Things to do when the doctor says it’s cancer.  It’s not a treatment book, but it’s a good book to help people take control of their care and organize their thinking so they aren’t so overwhelmed.  

I hope some of this helps...