Do you think the gifted program is too much?

Schools have gone crazy with what they expect out of kids, and the gifted programs are even worse (OSS and YSS are in them). Have you discussed with your son dropping down to less intense classes? Really, very few colleges and no employer is going to care if he was in a gifted program once he is an adult.

You are not a failure for having a son with anxiety - at least you are getting him the care he needs.  Anxiety is on the rise in children and without help, it can lead to self-harm or even suicide.  Just make sure he has a GOOD therapist who understands Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.  Anxiety is very, very treatable with the right therapist.

You are absolutely in no way a failure. He's getting the help he needs. Mental stress is hard, Yours having severe anxiety is hard. He needs the help... Junior High is a ROTTEN time in a kid's life. The kids get meaner, the drama gets worse, all of it. If he's going to get help, now is the time. You taking him in is for the best. The meds are there to help, and once he adjusts a doctor may consider getting him off of them or lessening the dosage. But for now, he needs it, and that's okay.

My niece used to pull out her hair. She had beautiful long hair at my wedding and within six months, she was wearing a wig. I was shocked. She was about 10 then.

My niece assured her mother she could handle it and not to worry. She wouldn't go to counseling.

I met a psychistrist at a party who said my niece would never stop hair pulling -- it was essentialy untreatable. It wasn't the hair I worried about -- it was whatever was making her pull it in the first place that worried me.

By the time she went to college, not only had she grown back her own hair, it was unbelievably thick, long and gorgeous -- she could have been on a shampoo commercial!

Hang in there. Your son is going through the vagaries of youth and the social scene at school. Think of it as him adjusting to his new school circumstance and be confident it won't always be this way. Your confidence is good for him -- he needs you to be confident. (I often think if my sister hadn't kept reminding my niece that no one would marry her without hair, my niece might have gotten it under control much sooner.)

I'm not one to be overly optimistic, but at your son's age, he's not even close to being the adult he's going to become. He's just getting started. Hopefully, this is a bump in the road in the process of becoming who he's going to be and learning how to manage what is undeniably a scary world.

Keep a close eye on him, read everything on the Zoloft packaging so you know the side effects, and don't let him see you sweat.

You are not a failure! Even if he always has anxiety, he will become better at managing it because you are getting him help early. You can't choose brain chemistry, but you've managed to take the situation in hand twice and already seen some earlier success. Be confident!

Who is gifted and has a diagnosed anxiety disorder.  We're not using meds, though I would LOVE to try. 

7th grade was awful for her.  She was being bullied by a teacher (who had the full backing of administration), and it took me awhile to figure it out fully.  At the worst of it, she started self-harming--at school!  I was able to finally move her around a bit at school to release some of the pressure (she went from 2 classes a day with that teacher to 1).

With DD, it's always been about identifying the root cause, and there's always a root cause--though it rarely has anything to do with what she thinks is the issue.  Once we can modify that, she's better, even if she's not great. Oh, and she's in weekly therapy, too, with a therapist she really likes, which is helping, too, I think.

With all the stress you and your DH are under with SS, my guess is that your kiddo is picking up on some of that, too.  Try as we might, we can't cover everything for our kids.

BUT none of this makes you a failure.  Failures are creeps like your BM who don't care about their kids and who make them crazier than they need to be.  Failures are the druggies who choose drugs over their kids.  You're just an imperfect mom who's doing your best in difficult times.

You are medicating your son for an illness. That isn't failure. You noticed your son struggling and took action to help him. That's wonderful. I hope this is the solution he needs. 

parenting is not an easy road!!!! All I can say, is it will get better. Pouring your love into your child, will help, and therapy will help  -it all will help. Your are not a failure by any means. You are not a failure because you are  not GIVING UP. 

Don't feel like a failure.  You are doing your best and have taken him for help.  Also despite the fact that he is feeling awful, he trusts you enough to open up to you about his emotions.

Have you considered charter school, or some other alternative form of education? 

I know public school can be hard for some highly intelligent kids, but there are some great collaborative charter schools that work well for gifted kids. 

You have to be careful in medicating kids with anti-depressants.  I am not a medical doctor and I do not play one on TV, but they made me suicidal.  I went from being solitary and quiet to downright suicidal. The medication didn't really help me until my mid to late 20s. (I am still on them).

Be so careful with them and watch your son closely.

You are not only getting your son the mental and physical help that he needs - but you are also giving him all of your love and support as well.

There are some concerns about using SSRI's with adolescents as there is a slightly higher incidence of suicidal ideation. Here is a link to a government report that explains it and puts the risk in perspective.  https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/child-and-adolescent-mental-healt...

My neighbor has tried everything with her daughter and was recently advised to get her a therapy dog. They brought him over last night and he’s soooo cute. AND the daughter left her house to walk across the street to our house to show us the puppy. It’s been years since she’s come over. Two days and having the pup has already made a difference.