FYI, you left her name in there. 
 

BM here used to make sure SS was doing something more fun when DH came to get him. Hence yours being allowed to go to his GF's house on those nights. BM's permissiveness and indulgence of my SS played a huge role in helping to alienate him. 
 

I'm sorry, you know we know exactly how you and DH feel. 

Are you able to exactly state who you want to do what?  No one in the world is going to be able to make a kid talk on the phone if he doesn't want to.  They can make him sit there with the phone to his ear but making him have a conversation is not a legal issue.  If your DH is going to be gone then visits are not possible for a while.  I get the frustration but your letter reads more along the lines of "someone needs to do something" than concrete statements.  Have you considered having his atty put forward a motion for mandatory counseling a certain number of weeks, with BM barred from the room, with confirmation of attendance sent to his/her office during the time that your DH is away?  If nothing else there will be someone other than BM in his ear.

Honestly.. you both just need to let this go.

It's painfully obvious that right now.. BM has gotten in the boy's head.   As rotten as the situation is.. your husband needs to just accept that his son is not interested in having a good relationship with him right now.  For whatever reason.. he is a teen that is not interested in "family" ties at the moment and GF and friends are more important.. or that BM has made it so that the only path without a load of BS is one that excludes his father... or he truly resents his dad for some other reason.. that to be clear.. will be pointless to try to correct right now.

You guys have spent tons of money.. held up your own lives for cruises and trips and turned yourselves in knots.

The fact that you aren't local to the boy makes this even more difficult because your husband has no way of just taking time in person to try to reach out to the boy.. and honestly.. it sounds like he is pretty much fully checked out from your husband.. so not sure that would help anyway.

So... this is what your husband needs to tell his son in their next "mandated call".  Son, I need you to listen to me for a minute.  I love you, but I cannot keep throwing myself at you when you clearly are indicating that you are not interested in talking to me or having any sort of relationship with you.  So.. here's the deal.  We have these mandated calls set up.  I am going to ask that YOU call ME during those times.  If you don't call.. I will assume that you don't want to talk and I am not going to force you to do what you are not interested in doing.  I will continue to financially support you as I have your entire life.. until you are 18.. but at this point, I am not going to continue to pressure you to have a relationship with me if you do not want that.  It's not what I want, but I'm not going to put myself through these games any further.  Your mother obviously does not want us to have a relationship.  I do want to be in your life, but if that's not what you want.. then the balls in your court.

seek your representative and local news station IMHO!

Of course the alienation has been completed however it would be good to shine the spotlight on all these agencies and so-called Justice systems who give lip service to "fathers are important."

I feel so bad for your DH.  I know how hard it is to watch your spouse lose their kid to PAS.  My DH hasn't seem or spoken to SD16 in over 2 years.  He tried everything to fix things, but it didn't work. 

I have to agree with the other posters.  Your DH needs to let this go and start to heal. I know it sounds good to go after BM in the media or use a state representative.  However, your DH probably should consider that going after BM will probably just further alienate SS.  At this point, the kid is getting too old to force him.  Even if he is court ordered to come at Christmas, it probably won't happen. BM and SS have learned that they can continually disobey the judges orders with no repercussions.  It seems like your DH may just be setting himself up for more heartbreak.

I feel for your H because he's going through his own trauma by being alienated from his son. He needs to take care of himself and if nothing else let his son know that he will always maintain his role as his father. Tell him that no matter what type of life he's going to build for himself now, that he will always have a place in it. Repeat to him that despite all the difficulties that they are going through, his bond as a father will never be broken regardless of what is being done or said. The door will always remain open for whenever HE chooses to enter it.

After that I'd let it go and allow your H to heal and live a life with you and his family where he is thriving and living HIS best life despite of what's going on with his son.

Wishing you all much healing in all this!

 They need to know that despite all of the difficulties of the past, your bond as parent and child will never be broken

Like many people on st--I am sorry too.

Remember OP--the Stark Reality is until the child is away from the alienator, there is nothing anyone can do.

OR if this is not Pathogenic Parenting--at age of majority/emancipation the kid will come back because Mom gave the Nod. usually happens when cs stops.

Your situation just breaks my heart. Your poor DH must really be struggling, and who could blame him?

In my opinion, the best thing to do is to expect to not see SS for a long time. Still keep trying with the phone calls, etc, but don’t make plans for him to come visit at Christmas, or at any time. If he brings up planning to come visit first, then it will be a pleasant surprise and you can adjust plans accordingly OR tell him it’s too late and he’ll have to wait until next time. It will be so much less painful if you and DH are just prepared for the fact that SS isn’t coming.

As for contacting the media and state representative, I think y’all should absolutely do that. It may or may not get you anywhere, BUT it might bring some small amount of emotional justice to you both. Plus, the general public really should be aware that this is going on in their court system. It really is a travesty.