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Feeling lost, unaccepted...

Jenny79's picture

Submitted by Jenny79 on Sat, 06/08/2013 - 4:17pm

:?
I am feeling so lost, helpless, confused, worthless, and frustraited I don't know how to feel, act, behaive or what to think.
Do I still love him?

What do I want from my life?

How to cope with his family; 2 daughters 10& 12, his parents, and EX-wife.

Is it worth it?

Why DID I fall in love with him, 3,5 years ago? He made me feel good, loved, sexy, important, wanted, needed...he has a great laugh, that he doesn't share that often a wonderful smile, great green eyes, important standards and morals....
That he doesn't impone on his daughters, but does with mine because she lives here. He allows his daughter and ex to disrespect me. He his ex their parents all go to the girls social functions when I have never been invited, I am "expected"to cook, clean, discipline, and accept them unconditionaly just because they are his girls. WTF, who the HECK am I, i didn 't sign up for the livin maid postion.

I know that cultural differences has some influnce, but to the point that I don't care about anything... I am getting to the point where I want to ask my ex and his girlfriend to take our daughter so I can get out of Dodge.

Comments

daniellehand74's picture

Submitted by daniellehand74 on Sat, 06/08/2013 - 4:54pm

I know exactly how you feel I'm raising two boys who aren't mine because their mom chose drugs over them. I feel like they just want me around so they don't have to clean or cook. I definately didn't sign up for this. My husband and his two spawns of satan don't appreciate shit. I get treated like dirt by all of them . Spoiled brats they get whatever they want and don't do shit. If I ask them to do a chore my husband tells them I'm the meanest step mom in the world. THANKS DICK!! I almost left for good last night..I'm tired of taking care of everyone and getting shit on . Your not alone.I'm trying to hang in there but, am wearing thin. I could be single with no kids and happy. What am I thinking?

Jenny79's picture

Submitted by Jenny79 on Sat, 06/08/2013 - 5:01pm

My second hand hubby is great when we don't have his girls, which is Every other weekend! Which leaves our "life" rocky before and after their visit. I don't get it. Why such drastic changes in his ways?

ItsGrowingOld's picture

Submitted by ItsGrowingOld on Sat, 06/08/2013 - 5:19pm

It's called being a disney dad. He's afraid of losing the affection of his children. Google it. It saved my sanity many years ago when I couldn't figure things out on the EOWE b/s. Sad

Jenny79's picture

Submitted by Jenny79 on Sat, 06/08/2013 - 5:24pm

Thanks! I found his "disney dad" 3. A weekend father that let's his children do anything they want when they visit. Also gives them anything they want creating very spoiled kids under the premise of not wanting them to be mad at him. Often the children boss the dad around even yelling at him with no reprisals.
......how do you cope with this sindrime?

ItsGrowingOld's picture

Submitted by ItsGrowingOld on Sat, 06/08/2013 - 5:26pm

Counseling Smile And, not doing anything for the Skids. Not.one.single.thing. I don't do "things" for disrespectful and unappreciative people. One of my many boundaries that has served me well Smile

ItsGrowingOld's picture

Submitted by ItsGrowingOld on Sat, 06/08/2013 - 5:27pm

And trust me on this. When you stop doing, they (DH and Skids) take notice. I just smile and move on Smile

ItsGrowingOld's picture

Submitted by ItsGrowingOld on Sat, 06/08/2013 - 5:47pm

You are welcome. Just remember he's the parent and nobody is forcing you assume a parental role. Your job is to love and support your husband! As the saying goes, it is easier to attract bees with honey than vinegar. Be your sweet self, don't do for them anymore and see if you can't draw him out on what his fears are with respect to his children and take it from there.

I wish someone would told me this over 7 years ago. Would have saved me a lot of heartache Sad

red flags's picture

Submitted by red flags on Sat, 06/08/2013 - 5:24pm

Read "Stepmonster." It won't fix things, but it will give you an understanding of "why" and provide some much needed coping mechanisms