OT: Addiction/enabling education -- books/references?
Almost hijacked a thread earlier with this question. What are the best books, references, information that you have dealt with concerning addiction, "an impulse not resisted or an irresistible impulse" (Dr Phil paraphrase) and enabling/helping behaviors.
Been to AA with family & friends, Al-Anon and I still find myself wrestling with this issue in different aspects. I am an "ignore-ant," gullible person apparently and likely an enabler, but never read a book about it. Typical Irish, Catholic family of origin with a modicom of dysfunction. My step-world has introduced me to an entirely other level of dysfunction, denial and enabling. Three screwed up SGkid's and AWOL SD-34 with her 60lb weight drop and the fire-blackened spoon cut from a soda can dropped in SO's driveway. Above my pay-grade. Never realized how many people in my circle are struggling with this issue in their family.
So, I'm asking for resources and references. Books, websites --- what has helped you with addiction/enabling in your life? There are a number of soft, hand-holding books, but I'm looking for real, fact-based/peer-reviewed, no-finger-painting resources. Whatcha got?
- Indigo's blog
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Hip Sobriety got my sorry
Hip Sobriety got my sorry alky a$$ on the right path. I currently have just over 2 years of continuous sobriety from alcohol. I did dabble in DH's prescription pills; valium and flexeril, but I was not addicted to them. My DH is also a sober alcoholic with 4 years sober. He had a problem with valium and has been clean for 1 year on those. He smoked pot as well, but stopped that a week into his alcohol sobriety. He did have another non-substance addiction that he kicked 2 years ago.
I highly recommend The Enabler by Angelyn Miller. Our therapist let me borrow this when he was working on his addiction. DH is currently reading Setting Boundaries With Your Adult Children by Allison Bottke. The last one has a lot of God references, so I have stayed away from it as I am not a believer. DH is Buddhist, so he is able to replace the God with his Buddha.
I will go through my reading list and web links and post them here for you. Tough love is sometimes what it takes to straighten people out. It will eventually save YOUR sanity. If it weren't for lines being drawn in the sand for me, I would have kept on drinking. I had to find my own way out, but I am so glad that I did.
Try
Melody Beattie (Codependent no more, and others)
Harriet Lerner (The Dance of Intimacy, and others)
I second this
Any Melody Beattie books are great for codependency. Also I would suggest any of the Al-Anon daily readers.
John Bradshaw's 'Healing the Shame that Binds You"
... really helped me while in my 20's/30's understand more about being an Adult Child of an Alcoholic & how that impacted my worldview & self-regard. 12-Step Al-Anon meetings (Overeaters Anonymous... even though I was bullimic) and "Big Book" studies & therapy helped, too.