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Is this contempt or not?? advice please!

IAmALady77's picture

So it is now 9:40 pm, about half an hour past SD's bedtime and BM has yet to call.

I just know that she is sitting in her house getting all happy because WE haven't called HER.

The CO states that "each parent will have reasonable phone call time with SD on the nights they are apart."

The thing is, it doesn't say WE have to call HER and put SD on the phone. SHE is more than welcome to call and speak to her daughter if she wishes but I don't think that should be OUR responsibility.

My question is, if we don't call her tonight, which we are not going to. Would that be contempt?? Because guaranteed that is why she hasn't called yet because she's trying to get us for something lol

I feel like that's on her but I just wanted to make sure.

Comments

hereiam's picture

No, you not calling is not contempt. Now if if she calls and you refuse to let her talk to SD, then you would be in contempt.

LRP75's picture

^ this ^

She is responsible for seeking phone contact with her child when the child is with the dad.

Your DH is responsible for seeking phone contact when his child is with her.

Neither party shall deny phone contact.

SanAntonioSoccerMom's picture

"Reasonable" is too liberal of a word to enforce. There is no contempt. Even if she called now and you said "sorry she is asleep" that would still not be contempt.

IAmALady77's picture

Okay great thanks everyone Smile Of course if she calls we're going to let her talk to SD as long as she's not calling 40 times a day like she used to, which is why we put that stipulation in the CO this time Smile

hereiam's picture

Yeah, 40 times is beyond reasonable. When she's asleep, not reasonable. The problem is a lot of these BM's are exactly that, not reasonable! I mean, to have to put something like that in a CO to keep her from calling that much, geez.

IAmALady77's picture

I gave up waiting and put her to bed after I posted this so shes been asleep for a while...and still no call from BM. What should SO say to her tomorrow when she bitches and gleefully claims we are in contempt? Ideas?

smdh's picture

Smile and say "I'm sorry you misinterpreted the order, which says you may have reasonable contact, not that we have to initiate that contact."

We had a similar issue years ago. The BM always wants the child to call her so it seems more like the child misses her and just has to talk to mommy. Once our bm realized we would not be forced to have SD call her, the contact pretty much ceased. Wasn't as much fun when she couldn't tell everyone how much SD missed her, I guess.

Buzybee82's picture

You and him need to read the wording and make sure it doesn't say he should call her... which I'm sure it doesn't! We have that in our CO too, and it doesn't say anything about if the parent away from the child doesn't call the other patent has to! Its just clarifying that phone contract can't be denied. If she's that stupid tell her to read the CO and show DH where it says he should have called her.

DASKRA's picture

What does it say word for word. Plus a judge is not likely to hold him in contempt for that she will say, then why didn't you call bm ?

IAmALady77's picture

It says, "each parent will have reasonable phone call time with SD on the nights they are apart." You guys are right, I didn't even think about that but if she wants to spew out some nonsense about contempt then he will just point out the fact that SHE never calls him on the nights she has her either lol good point.

hereiam's picture

She will look like an idiot if she files contempt charges. Even though judges seem to always give BMs the benefit of the doubt, they do get tired of the petty bullshit.

Buzybee82's picture

in our county a judge wouldn't even do shit about this kind of "contempt" accusation. i doubt any judge would.... and plus you have nothing to worry about cuz it's NOT contempt! now if your SO refused to let her talk to her child that's a different story... but if it's late and past bed time that's different. I'm a "contempt" pro cuz we have the BM from hell!!!