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OT - why the "2nd wife?" nobody ever says "2nd girlfriend"...the other person is no longer the wife...sigh

herewegoagain's picture

Submitted by herewegoagain on Thu, 02/23/2012 - 9:03am

Just something that constantly bothers me about the sites, etc... and how people refer to us. Really, I am THE WIFE, not the second wife, anymore than I was "the second girlfriend" to anyone. I think it's up to us to really start changing that name and view. They are the EX-WIFE, we (at least some of us) are "THE WIFE"...period, end of story...

Needless to say, a while back I was pondering this and got sick of it...made a t-shirt and wear it proudly lol

http://www.zazzle.com/the_wife_tshirt-235130084211330266?rf=238467714280...

Comments

majka's picture

Submitted by majka on Thu, 02/23/2012 - 9:59am

Yeah, but the worst thing is that I allow MYSELF to think that way.... like I am not as 'good' because I am a second wife, or our marriage means less.... Sad I need to get some confidence.

spunkiedolittle's picture

Submitted by spunkiedolittle on Thu, 02/23/2012 - 10:21am

she can-they may not do a lot, but if a major court battle came up, it would give her ammunition

spunkiedolittle's picture

Submitted by spunkiedolittle on Thu, 02/23/2012 - 10:20am

not that it makes it right, but it's probably refered to this way because the divorce rate is so high

i'd only be offended if my il's or dh refered to me as anything other than WIFE

Ommy's picture

Submitted by Ommy on Thu, 02/23/2012 - 10:51am

My BM referrers to me as his mid life crisis. My FDH is 27 not 40 and I am 21...really???? she is pissed because I have a job, life, and I am physically healthy. It just pissed her off when I would go to the drop offs...I may have dressed a little provocative...my bad, nothing inappropriate I promise. But I made it very clear to her that she couldn't touch me with a 10 foot pole.

Also I am lucky, my FDH's family that matters loves me, I am already in, his mother is a hole other story.

z3girl's picture

Submitted by z3girl on Thu, 02/23/2012 - 2:54pm

I prefer to turn it around and say that DH needed practice at marriage before meeting me! That was his "starter marriage" (although it did last a LONG time...but his parents convinced him to stick it out until SD was old enough to understand why it wasn't working out. His parents regret it all now!)

I do hate being the 2nd wife, but for the most part we let people assume this is both our first marriages and our son is our first child. He's our first child together, so we just don't correct people often. I'm glad DH is like that because it would probably feel like a slap in the face if he felt the need to tell correct everyone who thinks BS10 months is his first child.