OT-anyone deal with a stepfather sexually abusing an sd?
If so, did you see any signs? Just wondering. I have always wondered because of some issues at the very beginning and just a GUT feeling I had, but stupid DH confronted his crazy ex instead of calling CPS...and of course, then I was told "I was a witch and kid was afraid of ME", which made our life miserable...so from there on I disengaged completely. But honestly, I just have this gut feeling that someday that kid will speak out and say something about it. I have a feeling she will not until she is out of her mother's home.
Anyway, did you see any signs? What were they?
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I haven' been in this
I haven' been in this situation at all, but I would say that it is never too late to call CPS.
There were no signs, we never
There were no signs, we never said a word to our mom she had no idea. Then she just had a "feeling" something wasn't right and kicked him out, followed by a divorce. It was 5 years before my younger sister said anything, and I realized little things I thought weren't right was because they weren't. She called his new wife and told her, he disappeared after that. I don't think we would of said anything to cps we didn't (I didn't at least) have it as bad as my sis so I just thought certain things were "accidents"
I know, it's hard because I
I know, it's hard because I never had proof...if I did, that would have been different...but I didn't. When I tried to say that I had a gut feeling something was wrong, I was immediately attacked from BM, SIL, MIL etc...etc...etc...it never stopped. Maybe someday if it is indeed true, then it will come out or she will get help. I have to say that I find it odd that she has been raised by this stepfather since she was about 2 and yet she never says "anything" at ALL about him...she had a 15th birthday party, her dad ie. DH was not invited, and yet you didn't see any pics of her with her stepdad, etc...it's like he doesn't exist, yet we know he is still there...I don't know...but it makes me wonder. I think some day I might be proven right.
We saw some signs. My Ss
We saw some signs. My Ss becaome withdrawn, anti-social. We really thought it was a medical thing. Our big mistake was that we saw his stepfather as an extremely successful, well-mannered, upstanding member of society kind of guy. He was such an opposite of what we associate a pedophile with that we couldn't even make the association. Its like not associating Clark Kent as Superman although Superman never even had a mask (a pretty bad analogy).
Look out for sudden aversion to normal, loving contact. And another major one was hating to be photographed. We kick ourselves all the time for ignoring the warning signs. In hindsight, we could have stopped the abuse years before it actually did
It tears my Dh up.
There's some web sites out
There's some web sites out there - http://www.stopitnow.org/warning_signs_child_behavior
being one in particular, they have some other information as well.
I think for girls, it's also common for them to deface their dolls and mutilate them, for their art work to change fairly significantly and to either withdraw from normal physical affection or to become too overtly affectionate - becoming inappropriate with people they know and sometimes ever strangers, to give or ask for gifts at odd times. But I think a lot of the symptoms vary pretty heavily based on the level of fear a kid has of their abuser.