Anyone in an abusive relationship needs to leave...
This applies especially if your children are being abused, if you are physically abused, etc especially in front of your children.
While this may be OT, I read at least once of someone here whose husband beat her. Please leave. If anyone is abusing your child, please leave. This is not discipline or telling a kid what to do or having disagreements.
The impact on the children will last a lifetime. At 45, I am thinking of moving closer to my parents once again and I continue to have nightmares of things I witnessed. I cannot focus. I have become so hardened, that many think this is me. Those who have truly met me understand this is not me. The influence and mental nightmare so many years later is almost impossible to shake. I have worked and worked to the point of exhaustion to avoid thinking. My parents are still together and I am supposed to act like it never happened.
Please, give your kids a chance and leave...
Sorry this seems out of place, but I can't shake the feeling that someone here posted about being abused physically but "getting better". While to you if it stops it is better, the anger and anguish of your children having to pretend it never happened is unbearable. It is a life of lies where children must be either the liars or the bad guys forever. They don't deserve that.
- herewegoagain's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
herewegoagain - can I ask,
herewegoagain - can I ask, why are you even considering moving near to your parents when even the thought of what happened many years ago distresses you so badly?
I had a terrible relationship with my mother, and after my father died, and she began to suffer from dementia, my wealthy brother offered me a cash incentive to go and live with her and take care of her. I didn't even consider it for one second. No amount of money in the world would be worth being with that toxic lady 24/7. I visited her regularly in her nursing home, but no way was I going to live with her.
I don't believe that it is our duty to subject ourselves again, to parents who have damaged us so much in early life.
I am moving to the same area,
I am moving to the same area, not with them. However, believe me that I have been where I live for 3 1/2 years just hoping that things improve where I live. Instead, my husband has lost his job, we pay 400USD a month for electricity (no central AC, just one AC in the bedrooms (2) used at night), about 150USD every two months in water for a tiny apartment and 3 of us, gallon of milk over 6USD, income taxes close to 38% with NOTHING in return, we pay our own health insurance, the schools are horrible thus you must put your kids in private or homeschool...sigh. I just can't continue to survive where I live. I lived in that same area for over 25yrs, so everyone I know is there. I have some wonderful and supportive friends there too and my son of course wants to be around his cousins, who are also in the same area. I get along with my nieces and nephews great as they are wonderful to my autistic son. I have continued to delay the move in the hopes I can stay here, but really, it has just gotten worse...if I don't get out soon, we'll be living under a bridge soon.
I watched my Stepdad beat my
I watched my Stepdad beat my mom consistently for years. It was horrible. It makes me believe that it is the reason why I hooked up with a MUCH older man and had a baby at 16. I needed to get out of that house. When I left, my sole concern was my younger brothers. The last beating he gave her, put her in the hospital with a concussion. I told her that if she ever took him back, I would take my brothers with me and leave here there to die. She never took him back again. One day, he went to the house with the pretense to see my younger sister (his daughter) my brothers called me and told me that he refused to leave. I came over & told him that if he didn't leave, I would kill him right there. My brothers and I stood together and literally dragged him out of the house. I was 17, my brothers were 15 and 12. He tried to fight back, I hit him with a bat repeatedly. He NEVER ever touched my mother again. Any woman that gets beaten, needs to get help. PLEASE get help, don't EVER let a man do that to you. You deserve better.