Did a lot of thinking lately about how unhappy I've been, I discovered that even though DH, BM and skids all have a role in my unhappiness, I own ALOT of it.

I have gained a real significant amount of weight over the years but a lot of it has been within the last 1.5 years. I got to the point that I did not give a shit if the sky fell in and killed me in the process. Food has become my dearest and best friend. Like an alcoholic, I planned my next binge and then had spontaneous ones in between the planned ones. The more I ate the more unhappy I was. And now I need to work on the underlying issues that I was feeding this big black hole.

I decided to take food completely out of the picture. I went to our hospital weight management dept. and decided to drink only shakes and water for now. I am being monitored by the Dr. every week and it is mandatory to take nutrition classes as well as the classes that work on the emotions as well. Plus I am continuing to see a therapist for step/ myself issues too.

Taking food out of the picture helps me focus on the here and now. And that's my attitude. To stay present to all that is going on in my life, otherwise I become quickly preoccupied by what can I eat next.

It's going to be interesting to see the changes within myself. I don't know where this will lead me. Who knows, I may have a stronger marriage or I may have no marriage at all. All I know is I am no longer going to "just settle" for anything in my life anymore.

And yes Sally, I'm changing up the hair style, lol!