Not my finest moment ( A tale of putting BM in her place)
So the BM in our life is a complete nightmare. Stalked DH, shown up at our house when we aren't home, came into our home with out us knowing, locked my car doors, financially irresponsible and DH and I end up paying for it, she bullies DH, threaten court everytime she doesn't get her way, refuses to pass on info to DH about any issues the kids are having in school or field trips she has signed them up for on our week. She's just a down right horrible person. She toxic and I finally hit my breaking point with her last week.
So here's what happened:
Sunday:
DH drops the kids off on Sunday night at BM's house for her week of visition. Of course she's not there. When she finally does arrive she has an armful of toys from Toys R Us. Not a big deal.
Monday:
BM had brough up taking both of the kids to the boys and girls club this year which would save everybody money. She even said she went to the orientation that is mandatory in order for both of the kids to attend. I pointed out to DH that they are still accepting kids and it fills up pretty fast so we need to get them enrolled ASAP. DH ends up calling BM to talk with her. She ends up screaming at him about how she doesn't have the $275 to enroll one of the kids and he's just spinging this on her. DH points out the fact that she has the kids on free lunches at school and free medical, she can't afford to pay for summer care that she's known about for months but she's out at Toys R Us spending money she apparently doesn't have to buy the kids crap that they don't need. Obviously this pissed her off so she told him that her finances were none of his business. His response was that they are if he's having to pay for stuff that she said she would pay for but can't yet again because she's being financially irresponsible. Obviously this went on for a while.
She also had SD call DH before this all went down to ask where her school journal was. We didn't have it. I haven't seen it since Thursday of the previous week.
Tuesday:
Now she's found out that the boys and girls club will put you on a payment plan so her and DH talk and agree to enroll the kids. They we find out that she lied. She never went to orientation that is required and tomorrow was the last one available to attend. We don't have the kids so BM said her husband would take them. DH still had to go down to the orientation to make sure that she wasn't lying because she wouldn't just let HD take the kids after school.
She also has SD call again about the response journal.
Wednesday:
DH goes down to the orientation sees that BM's husband is there with the kids and takes off.
Thursday:
BM has SD call again about the school journal. This time as SD on the phone with her she's yelling at SD in the background about it. DH tells SD yet again that we don't have it.
About 45 mioutes later the texting attack begins out of nowhere. DH asked her to stop and of course she wouldn't. He only cares about money and not the kids. He's with holding the kids homework from her. He's a sh!ty father. Yadda yadda yadda. Then she starts threatening court yet again.
I've had it at this point. For four years this lady has tormented my husband. For four years she has tried to destroy our relationship. For four years she has had control of my DH to where he was to afraid to say or do anything at one point to now where he gets pissed and it affects our life.
So I politely as possible, could have done a lot better, told her via text to treat my DH with respect, start playing nice, and quit threatening him or else I would be turning her in for felony food stamps trafficing. Yep. We have proof seeing as she tried to sell them to DH in texts. And according to a lawyer I spoke with, in this state trying to sell them is the same as selling them and the amount is what makes it a felony charge. And our state doesn't mess around with that. I also told her that when DH and I choose to go to court it will be to take custody of SS and SD and quoted her a bunch of crap that she's done that's just been insane and there is no way that she can explain it to a judge in way that makes her look like a good parent and this is all stuff she's addmitted up to in emails so she can't lie and say that it never happened.
Since this has gone down she all of a sudden she has the $125.00 that DH and I paid for SS's tuition for school (she couldn't afford to pay it in December) that she threw a fit about in January and threatened to file contempt charges on DH if he didn't continue to pay and told him she isn't obligated to pay for that for SS. Valid point but neither was DH. We also haven't heard from her since the day after. She tried to get DH on the phone with her and he said no. Then she said she was going to get a restraining order on me and that I threatened her. Right. Sure I did. I would love to see her standing there trying to explain to a judge that I threatend to turn her in for violating the federal food stamps act. Lol. And I made sure to put that in every text. It would be like telling on yourself. And other than last week I don't have contact with her. The moment I see her car roll up with the kids in I disappear inside the house so I don't have to see her.
I'm sure some of you will not agree with what I've done but damit. I can only take so much and I just want to live my life with DH without her constant BS which isn't even neccessary other than she just wants to make him miserable.
My DH is a good man. A great father and my best friend. He's working on being better at actually parenting and he sure as hell doesn't deserve her crap all of the time.
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Comments
I agree too and was going to
I agree too and was going to suggest that YOU and DH go file for a restraining order. It's quite simple to do.
Some BMs need to be put in
Some BMs need to be put in their places.
Our BM's place would be a mental hospital (or hell), but since CS is done, she is not our problem anymore. I just love being able to say that!
Two more months and I will be
Two more months and I will be doing the happy dance with you!!
Sometimes you just have to
Sometimes you just have to say what needs to be said. I deal with this all the time!! DH went to SD13 awards program this morning. I told him to make sure he intrduces himself to all of her teachers because he's been made out to look like the bad guy to the entire school. She tells them that he's a deadbeat!!! He's never invited to school functions. This time he's just showing up . . .wish I was there to watch her run interference.
Now about this boys and girls club fee ($275 to sign up one child). In my neck of the woods (GA) the fee to sign the kids up is like $25 or $30 bucks and it usually runs $60 - $100 wk. IJS!
ALSO . . . .if she's getting food stamp assistance and all that jazz she's not even paying for this camp! I was a single mom for 10 years . . .I know how all this crap works because I always made too much money to qualify and had to hold my tongue when moms drove up in nicer cars and nicer clothers than me but didn't have to pay a dime. Don't fall for the flim flam!
It's $25 here for membership
It's $25 here for membership but $275 if you want to do the early drop off program that they offer. I have to work at 8:30 am and the normal $25 thing is for 11 am - 6 pm. They make you pay extra for the early program from 6 am - 11 pm.
I'm still mad though!!
I'm still mad though!!
I agree. Do you know why BM
I agree. Do you know why BM was on food stamps and welfare to begin with? Because she got fired for stealing from her job. DH and I ended up having to pay for her daycare with the kids when she finally decided to get a job six months later because she couldn't afford it. She was supposed to pay us back but do you think we ever saw a penny of it? Nope. And then this lady has the nerver to attack him constantly and call him a crapy father. I just don't get it.
She sounds like a
She sounds like a winner!!!
You want to know the flim flam of the week here. Well BM wants to send SD13 (anti-social, weird acting, I'd rather be by myself) to London to stay with one of BM's friends for the summer. Now this friend comes here and lays up at BM's house for a couple of wks each year with her childhood boyfriend (she's married I might add). BM tells DH that the round trip flight for SD was $1500 . . .of which $700 is in taxes and fees. Yeah right!
Sounds a bit off to me. Did
Sounds a bit off to me. Did you ask her to get you guys a quote so that you see this almost 100% tax on the principal amount with your own eyes? Granted they add on more than I think is far for international flights but that amount seems a bit high to me.
You see BM used to be in the
You see BM used to be in the travel industry in a previous life. I'm sure she's had these tickets (she claims to be sending SD13 alone but I'm thinking she's going to)for a while. She's just trying to get DH to pony up something. She's called all contacts and cashed in all travel miles. There's always a flim flam in there somewhere. DH's response was that he doesn't ask her for funds when he takes SD on vacation . . .so her vacation her funds and he ain't paying.
You see BM used to be in the
You see BM used to be in the travel industry in a previous life.
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That's awsome. Ours was a lawyer, great mother or MOTY, doctor, nurse, financial advisor, rich....I'm sure I can keep going and going with this one. I'm just glad that for the first time in four years I feel like she's finally going to stop. I feel like a thousand pounds has lifted off of my shoulders because I don't have to worry about when, where, or how she'll strike next just to hurt my DH.
Thank you. I was a little
Thank you. I was a little worried after I said what I said about what she was going to do. She loves to punish DH somehow when she doesn't get her way or he puts her in her place. Things like calling CPS and filing false child abuse allegations is something she has done before because she got mad at him.
Now I'm not so worried. There's really not much she can do. If she messes with him at all she knows what I will do and I told her that. I told her that I'm not DH and I will do it. Just try me. }:)
Oh and I would like to thank
Oh and I would like to thank BM for being a complete idiot as well. The things we have her admitting up to in emails is just insane. Let's just say that if she wants to go to court about custody she's going to have a lot of explaining to do about how her actions and choices seem to not be in the best interest of the kids. Case in point my blog from yesterday. She let SD 8 sit on her lap with no seat belt on and drive her, BM, and SS 6 to daycare and this is four days after I called her out on some of her crapy parenting choices and we live in the city. It's like she doesn't have a brain. She actually amazes me. I had no clue someone can be that stupid and still be alive.
I try never to talk to BM. DH
I try never to talk to BM. DH can handle her good. Most of the dealing with BM are over the phone right now. If I had to hear BM talk and look at her EOW like I used to it would drive me crazy. It drives me crazy just to see her call and text DH with her bs. Bm shouldn't even be calling or texting because they do SV, so there should be no contact. For years DH has had the right to take BM rights away and we would be done the stress and bs. But DH is so nice he keeps giving her chance after chance. This time hes going by just the co and let me tell you it has pissed BM and her family off.
After BM kicked (basically)
After BM kicked (basically) out of her house on Mothers Day (DSO has custody so not big deal), I told SD that there is a special place in hell for BM.
I'm at that point myself and it seems like a lot of women on here are too. This bitch has no sense of responsibility but yet she trashes us! Ridiculous.
We passed on Boys N Girls
We passed on Boys N Girls this year b/c last year SD would want to do other stuff anyway and miss day a week. We need to gut SDs bathroom and can't if she is staying with us. I figured with SS13 in juvie, BM might want to spend some quality time bonding with her daughter. DSO asked her if she wanted to keep SD until end of July. Sure she said.
Then fights and kicks her out. I have spent the past 2 days getting my family to babysit for cheap for a few days a week and rearranging things. I told DSO, even if SD and BM make up, he better stick with 'I can't trust you won't fight and kick her out, so you will only get her weekend if at all.'
I'm sick of catering to that bitch.
As am I and that's why I said
As am I and that's why I said what I said. DH tries to handle her but the truth is that she's the type of person that you literally have to get up in her face and tell her eff off. She won't understand any other way. She's a bully and she's been used to bullying DH for almost a decade so her behavior isn't going to stop until she hits a brick wall. I would like to think that I am that brick wall. She's not the first person that I've delt with that's a complete and total jerk. I put the boundaries clearly in place for her not only for DH but for me as well. I'm tired of her trying to ruin our evenings together or our plans with the kids on holidays that are ours. DH's big thing is that he wants her to be flexible with us but all I see is us giving her extra time for camping and seeing her family during DH's time and then she screws him over everytime. The thing is she needs DH to be flexibility too. She doesn't realize it because she always gets what she wants. Nobody says no to her. I've tried over and over again to explain to him that all he has to do is push back. Of course she'll be pissed threaten court and punish him like she always does but eventually, because she wants the flexibility, when it doesn't work she might try something else. Maybe being nice for a change.
I have had it with BM as
I have had it with BM as well....ONLY reason I am biting my tongue is bc DH and BM are in a Custody Modification battle in court that is getting pretty nasty. I am trying just to sit back and let BM sink her own ship with things she has been saying and doing lately.
I say Hell Yeah! Stand up for
I say Hell Yeah! Stand up for you, your man, and anything else in the situation you want to. Screw the others on their high horses haha I don't care what a dang person thinks because I know that when I do get to that point, I have every right to say what I say. So go you.