You are here

FMSL's Blog

Does anyone Wake up Depressed because of Skids?

FMSL's picture

Does anyone else wake up just plain depressed about being a SM/SF? Most mornings, the moment I open my eyes and realize I'm still in step-Hell, a big depression cloud comes hanging over my head. When I'm asleep, I can be in denial. When I wake up, the reality just sucks. My SD has caused both DH and I so much pain and it's getting worse as her needs are more expensive and demanding.

Waiting for another ruined night

FMSL's picture

Am I the only SM who has skid full time? Every step-family I know is a "traditional" stepfamily (if there is such a thing) The kids live with their mom full time and only visit dad. I'm stuck with this kid's moods, lying, stealing, hormones, messes...Every. Single. Day. Every. Single. Night. And it's just horrible. Even on her "good" days, she manages to ruin every single evening. I absolutely hate it when she comes home. I get shaky with anxiety when school is over. She walks in every day with a nasty upset look.

Yep, It's All About Me

FMSL's picture

As a SM, I am so tired of being accused of thinking everything is all about me and my feelings when it should be all about the skid. In fact, nothing is about me. I'm the one pushed aside for a rude manipulative child. It's not that I am mad or offended about the way SD talks to me and interacts in strange ways. I'm mad about the way SD interacts with DH. I'm mad about the way SD interacts with BD. I'm disgusted about the was SD interacts with her friends. I don't really care how she interacts with me I just don't like the way she interacts. Period.

God please grant me enough wine to cope with things I cannot change

FMSL's picture

Wink Yes, SD you are the only important person in this house. Your birthday is the only one that matters even though you shit on your own dad on his birthday and yelled at him all day. Your school projects and extracurricular activities are more important than anything in anyone else's schedule. I can't wait to wake up again tomorrow and spend my entire day preparing your meals and activities.

I Give Up.

FMSL's picture

Completely. I give up. For 5 yrs, I've been trying to teach, help, inspire this rotten SD10 but I'm at the point of completely letting go and disengaging. Having her full time for the past 5 yrs with only 3 or 4 attempts of contact from BM, I'm the one who sat for hours with her teaching her how to read, write, paint, and clean. Well, suddenly SD decides to dismiss every bit of help I offer. She will ask me a question and as I start to answer, she rolls her eyes and walks away!

Tired of Being Punished

FMSL's picture

I am SO DAMN sick and tired of getting treated like a piece of shit by SD11. She's getting more outwardly aggressive and angry at me. It's getting worse and worse as she gets older and I'm sure it hasn't even reached near the peak.

Still, it doesn't seem right that every day I'm being punished just for marrying this man.

Glad I found this site!

FMSL's picture

I can't believe I found a site for the misery I've been enduring for over 5 yrs! It's been pure hell and everyone I know has made me feel like the worst person on the planet. I'm not mean. I'm not evil. I can't even raise my voice to someone else's child without feeling guilty for months after. But, nothing has made me feel more like a bad person than the role of STEPmom.

Pages