I'm at work and 6 1/2 months pregnant, bored and uncomfortable so bear with me, if this is long winded or I just don't make it through the whole story...lol

I think I should start at the beginning. I met DH 5 years ago and I knew he had two kids. I didn't want kids, never did, but I met him, saw what a great dad he was and figured it probably wouldn't go anywhere and he was good in bed (sorry probably TMI) so I figured I'd stick around for a while and see what happens. Well, as fate has it, I fell in love with him pretty quickly. Two months later he drops a bomb that he has another son. I wanted to be done at that point, but I figured all of his kids had good relationships with their BMs so I'd just be a fun aunty, friend type person.

Lo and behold, he ends up back in court with the BM of the youngest two. He gets full custody and soon after she runs away to Florida (the fourth time she's ran away from her kids.) That was January, we got married in July and in November all shit hit the fan. On November 23rd I had a tubal pregnancy (the first of many battles to have a baby together). The BM had flown from FL to see the 2 kids for Thanksgiving and when they get back SD9 (at the time) informs us that BM's boyfriend is molesting her and her little brother (4 at the time). We didn't have a clue what to do, DH calls the 800#, it takes them a week to come interview the kids. We try to get a restraining order but are denied because of the existing court order. Finally it took CPS over a month to fully interview the two kids and examine the girl. Of course, (if you've ever read about kid victims) the 9 year old is so scared and confused by nightmare and real that she's ellaborates, they call her a liar and we get no where. Even though the physical test shows she's been torn. On top of the boyfriend molesting them, BM did also and so did BM's parents and her brothers. Yes, I know it's hard to wrap your head around, but unforunately it WAY more common that anyone is willing to talk about.
So, as we're going through this, hiding from BM on the weekends, spending thousands of dollars at our lawyers, fighting with CPS to talk to someone else, my grandmother loses a battle with ovarian cancer on January 9th. It was a hit, but a hit I could handle. 12 days later, my mom (my amazing, precious mom) dies in her sleep with no warning and for no reason. THAT I couldnt' handle, but I had to, because now, I wasn't just a step mom, I was a counselor, a protector and anything else you can think of. I didn't get to grieve, my DH was in court the day of the funeral. In court, we got as far as she cant' see the kids until they figure everything out.
So, life at this point was a complete mess, and three weeks after my mom died my uncle dies and my aunt is in critical condition. Mind you, my mom didn't just leave me behind, she left my dad, my sister and my two younger brothers, the youngest was 15 at the time. Not only did have two step kids at home and a DH that was BEYOND stressed out I had a 15 year old brother and a dad that needed help. My grief, my life at 23 was COMPLETELY put on hold for everyone else in my life. DH didn't understand and couldn't understand why I was distant, why I was gaining weight, just why I was different. So, I put on a happy face and have just continued to act like everything is okay, even though my heart still hurts.
That year we had a miscarriage, that would prety much happen every year at least once. In September of that year my DH informs me (doesn't ask, just tells me) that his oldest son is coming to live with us, no discussion. His oldest son is 11 at the time and he's coming because his step dad fights with him and he's having a hard time at school (because he's a smart ass and just mean).
So, that's where I'll stop for now. Thinking about my mom has kinda made me sad. She wont' be here for her first grand baby.
Dawn