Will it ever get better?
I remember how it was the first year DH and I got together and began the process of blending our families. He was supportive, sensetive, and communicated. We were very connected. In everything. We could read each others thoughts with very little effort. He has 4 children (SS18, SD17, SS15, SD13). I have 2 children (BS12, & BS9). Both my children are disabled. My oldest has PDD (part of the autistic spectrum)with eplipsy. He will be with us for the rest of his lift. My youngest son has a severe Mood Disorder NOS. BM lost right to her children due to severe abuse over 10 years ago. She has decided to pop up about a year ago but has not been a problem. She owes too much child support to cause problems.
Fast forward to today and DH & I can hardly speak to each other. I learned last night as he verbally attacked me at the counselors office that he has NEVER agreed with my parenting...That he NEVER agreed with the house rules. You think he would have said something 2 years ago when we were having family meetings to help the blending process and "even out the playing feild".
There is not a day that goes by where I am not in some way disrespected or just plane straight out stabbed in the back by SD (the 17 yr old). She has lied to her grandmother,neighbors,and friends. She plays games with her father (as he excuses the behavior due to her learning diabilities). She bullies the younger kids in the house. She is the most dishonest, hateful, cruel person I have ever encountered.
I just don't know how much longer I can last. This punching bag is all out of sand.
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I think it will.....
To me, it has to get better. It just does. Whether it's with your husband or without him, it will get better. You can only push someone so far before they break. We can only take so much before we will walk out and do what is best for US not what's best for THEM.
I'm sorry for what you're going through - our situations are very different but I know what's like when you just want to give up. So best of luck and make sure you look out for you and YOUR precious babies. They need your attention more than a bratty 17 year old demanding it!
"To the ass, or the sow, their own offspring appears the fairest in creation."
LOL... I asked myself that same question...
maybe a million times? And yes, finally, things ARE better. I don't have your same situation, but, I know that I have felt like I couldn't take anymore, I didn't know what was right and what was wrong. I began to even question me and my motives. I questioned whether *I* was being SELFISH.
All I know is this is NOT an easy life. But, I know that I love my DH and he loves me... I have to believe in that. I have to believe I have not spent 3..5 years of my life wasting my time. I have to believe that after all this time, after all this work... things WILL get better. And honestly, they have and they do.
It's just SO much MORE work in this situation. It's more complicated. There are MORE people involved. There are more dynamics... but honestly, it DOES get better. It just takes awhile. Look at the statistics, they say almost 60% of SECOND marriages where KIDS ARE INVOLVED end in divorce. I read that BEFORE we got married... I told myself I would NOT be one of those statistics and I told DH that too. So you have to decide for yourself I guess... I for one, am not prepared to walk. For one thing I have already put WAY too much into this... I wanna see if it pays off and I really think it will...
One other thought... they say in 2nd marriages, where kids are involved it takes 3-5 years to really blend and for everyone to feel safe and comfortable... so 2 years down and 1-4 to go.... ???
It is what it is...