elkclan's Blog
Even beyond the grave...
I live near a cemetery and SO and I took a quick walk there this morning. We spotted a grave where a man "George" was buried in 1982 - the cremated remains of his wife "Ellen" were added in 1984. OK... pretty normal.
And then below that it said the cremains of his "First Wife Sandra" who died in 1999 was also etched on the headstone.
OMG - took me a minute to figure it out. But Sandra must have convinced the kids to have her added not only years (maybe decades) after the marriage ended, but 15 years after the 2nd wife was interred there.
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Death in the bio-family
I had it out with my SO last night. BM's father died and he lived very, very far away. He has warned me in the past that this probably meant he would have to go and stay with his kids in BM's village if it was in school time while BM dealt with family matters/ funerals etc. OK, makes sense.
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Snow fun at all
BM is always always always signing the kids up to stuff in their little village on my SO's weekends. I want to say now that while we don't have 100% crossover in terms of taste or ideas about what's suitable for kids to do, we do have about 80% crossover. So it is not the activities themselves that I disapprove of, rather the fact that while they are in the village she is controlling their time. I managed to get them out of weekend sport by signing them up to weekend sport here. (Same sport and my son has been going to this club and I played at this club myself.)
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Step kid portraits
OK, I was reading another entry about someone not wanting a picture of a step grand kid up in the common area of her home.
I have a slightly different issue.
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Bioson: foot in mouth disease
My stepkids BM has many fine qualities and we have many overlapping standards and values. She runs a strict regime at her house and as a result kids are mainly well-behaved and any poor behaviour is largely just kid stuff. I do not doubt that she loves them.
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I think I'm too nice for this gig
My SO and I are both 'nice people'. Ask a favour? Sure, I'll be glad to! My SO is even nicer than I am. We both think about other people's perspectives, try to find rational reasons for others' behaviour, and assume the best intentions. It makes our relationship wonderful and I wouldn't trade that...It makes dealing with stepkids easy, because we don't go looking for trouble.
...but it makes dealing with selfish exes an effin' nightmare.
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SO being squirrelly, waiting for BM other shoe to drop
My partner and I agreed that he would stop taking them back to their village to play sport on kid weekends during the season. It means a ridiculously early start and an early return to BM meaning his EOWE time with them is curtailed and on BM's home turf.
Not invited
My SO is off with his two sons visiting his mother in a touristy part of the country. I was deliberately NOT invited or rather my son was deliberately not invited because my partner's mother's husband (his SF) doesn't like children and they didn't want my son there (BS11). It's not about his behaviour as he is no worse than SSs - she has only met him once and he was on good behaviour. My SO says that her husband is a grumpy sod and he doesn't feel welcome there either. I saw the email where his mother said she didn't think it would be good for my son to come because of her husband.
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OT/ ARR
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When it rains...
Ughh - both of our exes are kicking off at once.
Mine
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