My high school sweetheart and I finally re-united after several attempts. We both knew that we were going to be together after a five minute phone call that consisted of are you free...yes, you...yes. We maintained long distance relationship between Texas and Alaska for 6 months before we involved our children. I had one boy and one girl and he had one boy and one girl. Both of us had sole custody of our children. When I finally met his kids I was more shocked than I could have ever imagined. His son was 10 and didn't speak, made no eye contact and when I put my hand on his shoulder his entire body turned red and he recoiled like a snake from my touch. 6 years later me and my two kids adore him and will defend to the end. Serious work and 2 years of counseling have him living a mostly normal life, he has OCD and several symptoms of Asberger's.
Husband's daughter had just turned 4, I felt her tantrums were related to the situation of her and my father planing to get married. I seriously considered not marrying him because of her being an absolute brat but told him we had to wait a year and he had to address her behavior issues. I brought my son to Alaska to meet them and the first night he simple tried to engage husbands boy in a conversation and the girl jumped up to the back of the couch, flew off the back of the couch onto boys head and scratched his face and bit his head and ear. until he fled to his room never to return. Fast forward 6 years. I am the hated parent of a 10 year old girl who has repeatedly stolen personal items from family members, classmates and bunk mates at camp. She doesn't steal to have something she admittedly steals things that are important to someone and ditches them. Items include (kindergarden) classmate's ring from her grandmother in Japan stolen and stuffed between cushion and booth wall at resturaunt, caught her dropping my daughter's friendship bracelets from summer camp in the river, my foster child's $1000 watch he received as highschool graduation gift, no idea where she ditched that one. We also have discipline action from school. 1st grade she was suspended for shoving a girl into and then under the bathroom sink at school because she had beat her to the stall, also that year she threw a ball bearing at her "best friend's" mouth breaking both of her permanent front teeth. 2nd grade she was disciplined for stealing, lying, disrupting class and bullying two girls. Summer camp she stole a girls ipod and got caught...blamed it on the fact that her bio mom hasn't called her in a year. 3rd grade, discipline for bullying and caught stealing...again and a new twist she started violating dress code even cutting the crotch out of a pair of jeans! At home she tries to sexualize the relationship with her father. Rubbing her privates against him, grabbing his face in both hands and trying to kiss him in a very seductive way. He picks her up and sets her away from him and pecks her on the head when she does that but it has made no difference. She is a pathological liar, and kleptomaniac and has absolutely zero capacity to recognize that anyone other than her has feelings. We have had her in very intensive counseling for 2 years and even her counselor said she is only trying to manipulate her counselors and that no progress is actually being made. She has not had a single friend in 3 years nor has she been able to spend more that 5 minutes not seeking absolute attention.