So it's been almost four months of living with SS full time 24/7 without even a day of break, to tell the truth it hasnt been bad as i expected. SS has been on his best behaviour, he seems to have grown and changed a lot, he no longer expects the world to revolve around him or to compete with me, he now knows his place as one of his father's children and not his father's Prince as he used to think. I think the fact that his mom is now far away has helped him behave as he has no other home he can go to now and he only has one parent around and the mother is not there to negatively influence him. Anyway SS12 is turning 13 this year, he is very much grown up and capable of helping out in the house but it seems like his dad prefers to see him doing nothing, when he sees him washing dishes he feels like SS is playing maid but if it's me cooking daily and doing house chores its no problem because im a woman so that makes me hard as steel! Sunday morning around quarter past eight i work up SS to help me clean the house, he was scrubbing the wooden floor using a brush that requires him to kneel down, the dad asked him why he doesn't use the brush with a long handle so he can do the job standing up to protect his knees, he said he is unable to use the long brush. I asked him why not. it's very simple, so i took the brush and showed him how and then i left to finish up cleaning outside.

DH then comes to me and asks why SS12 is crying, i did not even see him cry so i'm like i don't know why don't you ask him, he has a mouth to talk he is not a baby, DH says, you are the mother you should know. What the hell? Am i psychic now? I told him asking me makes it seem as if he is suspecting that i'm the reason he is crying as if i said something mean to him or i hit him. I told him to never ask me why a grown up boy who is not deaf or dumb is crying, he should go and ask him, i cannot read his mind and answer for him and asking me only makes me feel like he is indirectly accussing me. so he goes to ask him softly, "why are you crying son" and he says the most stupid thing ever, that he wants to be allowed to use what he is comfortable with!

Is that an acceptable reason for him to cry like literally shed tears as if he is being abused or something bad like that? DH doesn't seem upset at all and I'm like you need to talk to your son, he is 12 years old he is not a baby he should learn to communicate using words not tears, being soft on him will only make this cry baby behaviour of his continue. He shouldn't allow him to cry over nothing. What would people say if they walked in to our home to find SS crying, they would think the step mother is at fault she did something to him and DH himself obviously thinks the same thing every time SS crys, that is why he asks me why he is crying. Honestly SS's crying annoys and angers me. His father is the problem, he is too soft on him and he spoils him. This really builds resentment in me because i hate spoilt brats or kids who are treated as if they are royalty and more special than other kids in the world.