This is not YOUR problem. This is the problem with most of today's children. They don't want to have to work hard for anything. We are suppose to hand them everything because they are "entitled." Well I call BS!!! It sounds like a true time of tough love is called for on this kid.

He is going to be unprepared for life and realistic nature of what hardships can come if this doesn't change right now.

I think a long talk with your DH about this is definitely a start. While he may not agree, at least make him think about what he is seating his child up for....failure! His child may get pissed at both of you and sob even more, but once he figures out that crap won't work anymore then that should stop.

Children need discipline and will be better people later in life if they get it.

Don't cave in on this issue.

SD15 is either calling in hysterics over BM punishing her or a friend/BF getting into it or how she doesn't feel loved by daddy. I don't think she's ever just cried. It's full on tantrums. She hardly ever calls him with good news. It's like she strives off of drama and wants daddy to feel sorry for her. I say suck it up Nancy. Just going to be worse in the real world.

So, one day SS will join the big bad world. His boss will ask him to jog to the corner cafe for a latte/ do a team building exercise with physical exertion/ go see a vendor or client and SSis taught to cry like a pussy? That is some wonderful life skills and I don't think it's a you issue.

This child is being molly coddled and won't be able to launch. He and my SS can be roomies one day in the shelter they will be relegated to.

Puberty & hormones? Doesn't just happen to girls. Tossing it out there.

Years ago I was told that the kids who outwardly take divorce/change/stress the hardest are the 10-12 year old boys. They cry.

Um wow! You need to tell him what I tell my BS5 on the rare occasion that he acts like a baby... that I will pick him up some diapers at the grocery store. Geesh... BS5 is running a 3K with me in a couple of weeks and this is his THIRD! He ran his first race at age 4.... this kid is TWELVE??

Let me guess, he spends all his free time holed up in his room or the basement playing video games??

His father is hurting him very badly, very badly. It's a shame he don't see that and do something about it.

Tell dad he is flat out crippling the boy. Constantly feeding him the message he cannot do anything at all whatsoever.

Begin with small things at home to teach the boy how good it feels to be strong. Stop responding to the crying. My ss13 is autistic and subject to meltdowns. So guess what? Boy has learned to simulate a meltdown to get what he wants. It works on his mom. Sometimes it works on dad. IT NEVER WORKS ON ME. And the child knows it. I will say to him, "Oh, ss, you know I never respond to that tone of voice." Or "I can't hear you, can you try your 7th grade voice?" Or when it's really bad I just say, "Ok, let me know when you're done crying and we can deal with it then."

Try to find something small you can get the boy to do in exchange for something desirable. If you have a good working relationship with your dh, he should be inspired by your results and you can get more results together. Good luck!

Wait til he's 17 and he's having a crying jag over a baseball uniform and his dad let's him come home and not to with the school team. Yes. 17. And crying. Yep.

It's coming.

I'm sorry, but TWELVE??? That's just unacceptable!

I agree with everyone that this is just going to hurt him when (IF!) he has to move out and be on his own. Does he get bullied in school because of all this crying?

My SD11 is the same - crying when she gets in trouble (that SHE starts) and when she doesn't get her way :/ Her mother does the same thing at 35!

My SS13 just recently started maturing (meaning he doesn't cause unnecessary drama), but his mother still treats him like he's 5! I "accidentally" saw a text convo between them on his tablet and she's all "That makes mommy very happy (him behaving and taking his meds)...You're my big boy...I love you to the moon and back...Mommy is very proud of you, buddy..." :sick: He has ADHD, although I don't think that that would have anything to do with it - he's just been babied for a loooooong time. If she keeps talking to him this way, he's never going to fully mature and act his age. He's going into highschool this year, and I don't remember MY parents talking to me like THIS! My mom was always "Well who's fault was THAT? That's what you get!" whenever I hurt myself or whatever LOL Treat him like an adult/teenager, and he'll have the self-esteem to be his own person.

I feel for your situation. You just want to throttle the little sh*t (been there!), but that would only make it worse.

Just let him cry it out, and make sure DH knows that this is unacceptable behaviour at any age over 3!

Agree with the others on here. His father isn't doing him any favours. He's setting him up for failure in life.

Does SS do it to you? If not, then perhaps Dad can see how he only does it to people who will accommodate him?
I love the idea of saying once you're done crying, we'll talk. I used to do that with my Bios, when they were little and as they got older. They would throw a tantrum or start crying and I'd walk away. They'd get it all out and then come tell me they were done and wanted to talk. It 's okay to have emotions and it's ok for boys to cry but they have a time and a place.

My youngest (BS20) still does it.

When we have an argument he'll say I am very angry right now and am going to walk away. I'll be back once I've calmed down. He has anger issues and we've had a hellish year that has only made his emotions harder to deal with. However, when he was a child he learned what was acceptable and what wasn't.
I don't think it's too late for your SS. He needs barriers and he needs constancy.

Digusting to see a kid act like a baby and turn on the waterworks.

This was SOOOOOO YSS (Prince Hygiene) and boy did it ever work with Chef. You could see PH peering behind a door pretending to cry to see if he can get me in trouble with Chef. Those days I never want to go back to.

I have no doubt it still continues with PH who is 12.5