By the skin of his teeth he graduated.  We went to the graduation and held a small party at our house.  He moved in with BM last weekend.  It was sad and a relief all at the same time.  Turns out the factory where SS18 was going to work (same place as BM) isn't hiring anyone this summer.  They live in a rural area and SS18 has not taken drivers ed nor has a drivers license.  I give it one more week before BM is blowing up DH's phone with the same crap we dealt with....no job...no license....plays video games all day....yep, and that's why he can't live here anymore!!!!  Once I got over the initial disappointment and sadnesss of it all, I now feel RELIEF.  So much less stress.  SS18 is autistic, high-functioning, but lazy as hell with a whopping dose of learned helplessness.

Knowing that DH and I did the best and most we could for this kid makes me feel just fine about the relief and happiness that has filled my soul.  Every opportunity and resource we could find was made available for SS18 for the 10 years that he lived full-time with DH.  The countless hours of paperwork/phone calls dealing with doctors, insurance, medication, therapy, school IEPs......SS18 was given the tools to be successful as an autistic adult, but he just refused to step up when it counted the most.

Just knowing SS18 was in the house.....shuffling and dragging his feet wherever he walked, putting his hands on every possible surface, snarfing/sniffling every 30 seconds, mumbling/talking/laughing to himself, using his stupid goose honking squeaky voice to talk to the dogs, his disgusting table manners, his 45 minute showers, dragging out chores for hours, all these petty little annoying things, then add the hygiene and hoarding issues, lack of job/school/future, no drivers license......his continued presence in our house was an affront to all that help and opportunity that he was given and threw away with both hands.  Knowing he is GONE and will not be coming back (except occasional visits) has made some of that "old me" return.  I was so ANGRY for so long and it's just........lifted.  I have more patience now to parent my niece8 and less grouchy around the house.  DH and I have almost rekindled our relationship, the arguing and tension was making everyone miserable.

SD25 and SD20 are not happy with DH for "kicking SS18 out".  DH explained the full situation to them, as they didn't know a lot of the details other than no job and blowing off school.  We all, including me, thought SS18 would live with us for a couple more years to go to automotive school, work, and be able to move out on his own, albeit with some assistance.  This was the plan!  SS18 had planned on going to automotive school for YEARS.  Went through orientation and everything.  But, SS18 didn't follow the plan, didn't follow the rules.  He almost flunked his senior high school automotive class!!!  He would absolutely FAIL if he were try to attend community college.  Of course, the girls think DH should still be responsible for SS18, but don't seem to remember that their MOM has responsibility as a parent also, and hasn't done jack shit for any of them since she voluntarily gave up custody over 10 years ago.  It's pathetic how, after all these years, ye olde double standard (TM ThinkThrice) still stands strong.  BM just isn't as capable/responsible so DH just needs to suck it up FOREVER.