Denying Time
So today is our day w/ SS1 and BM decided to take him w/ her to her new bfs parents house over 2 hrs away. Her BF who she has only been w/ for maybe 2 wks. I was wondering what we can do about this since she is denying us our time and took him during our time. If you have been through this before or know what we should do about it please let me know. Also she randomly changed his bedtime from 9 to 8 to shorten our time. Is there anything we can do about that? I know he isnt going to bed even at 9 because he sleeps w/ her and everytime we get him he just sleeps the entire time.
- cscott's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Are dad's times specifically
Are dad's times specifically laid out in the court order?
"The beauty of life is, while we cannot undo what is done, we can see it, understand it, learn from it and change, So that every new moment is spent not in regret, guilt, fear or anger, but in wisdom, understanding, and love." -Jennifer Edwards
Do you have a court order
Do you have a court order that shows that you are suppose to have him? If so call the police and file a complaint for custodial interferance. Other than that there is nothing you can do.
ya we have a signed
ya we have a signed agreement through the court saying the days and times in which we are supposed to have him.
"Kill them w/ kindness, you fight fire w/ water."
Then mom can't change
Then mom can't change bedtime to restrict dad's time, dad should just not return the child until he's required to. Doing anything about today might not be possible, but he should call her and demand his time, if this wasn't a prearranged agreement then he has every right to demand mom return kiddo, and he should ask for make up time. If mom does not return the child, then dad should eveluate whether there have been enough violations of the court order to justify going to court on a contempt motion.
"The beauty of life is, while we cannot undo what is done, we can see it, understand it, learn from it and change, So that every new moment is spent not in regret, guilt, fear or anger, but in wisdom, understanding, and love." -Jennifer Edwards
The agreement says that SS
The agreement says that SS has to be returned at bedtime. It doesnt say when his bedtime is but that was only for holidays and it says 6 hrs every holiday so the lawyer said if she wants to change the bedtime then we can pick him up early to make up for the time we would lose. But BM doesnt agree w/ this. We will find out tomorrow if she denys it or not.
"Kill them w/ kindness, you fight fire w/ water."
You need a new attorney and
You need a new attorney and a new court order. There should be specific times in the order and clear statements about which 6 hours on which holidays. Our order is so specific it states where exchanges will be and that DH has to drive all the way to Wingnut's house if it is snowing. Nothing should be open to interpretation if one party isn't willing to reasonably negotiate. Ideally, there should be no need for orders at all because everyone involved would do what is best for their kids, but if an order is necessary, it may as well be detailed.
"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy" and you can't change crazy!!
Do you have a court order in
Do you have a court order in place that outlines when you get SS? If not, then a phone call to your attorney is in order. Court orders and parenting plans dictate who has the kids when, who does the transportation, child support, etc. If she violates the court order, you can document it and she can be held in contempt of court. States have different laws about this. In a lot of states, you can get the cops involved. Depending on your state, if she violates the court order, she could face jail time.
You might also want to ask your lawyer about mediation. If you can get a good mediator who sees through BM's BS, then that will only help you and SS. Things such as bedtimes and other parenting issues can be worked out in mediation.
Merry Christmas and Happy 2010!
She can not randomly decide
She can not randomly decide to change the times or the days to convenience her if they are in the court order. Wingnut tried this on Thanksgiving a couple of years ago. Of course, she added the nice false allegations of abuse to go with her denial of visitation so her little Nip could spend time with her and her parents. We took her to court. She was slapped with a $500 fine for contempt. It hasn't happened since.
"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy" and you can't change crazy!!
call your lawyer! have him
call your lawyer! have him file contempt of court charges, she violated the order.
Talked to the lawyer he says
Talked to the lawyer he says just to document it and try to get her to give us make up time. We have already filed contempt on a bunch of stuff she has been doing but it wont go to court til her lawyer gets back. I feel like the lawyer is trying to give her so many chances just so he doesnt have to go to court. Isnt this a big deal? I would think this would be important.
"Kill them w/ kindness, you fight fire w/ water."
Document it with a police
Document it with a police report. This is why BMs do it on holidays. They know you have no recourse until after the fact. Many judges find withholding of a child on a holiday (especially a religious holiday) a VERY big deal. In fact, even though Wingnut violated on Thanksgiving, the judge was hesitant to take away her Christmas time to even the score. He gave us extra time surrounding the holiday but wouldn't "punish" the child by interfering with Christmas with both parents. Maybe it is time for a new attorney.
"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy" and you can't change crazy!!
One thing I have learnt,
One thing I have learnt, even if it seems like the most terrible thing in the world... the judge may not think so. Is the child in danger? No the child is safe with his mom. And thats what the judge will see. You'll probably get a "It won't happen again" and she'll get a "Don't do that again" but nothing will really come from it. Sorry but its the harsh truth.
My advice is to take as much time as you can with SS. DOCUMENT EVERYTHING!!! If she shows up half an hour earlier then she should... make her wait and write it down. DOCUMENT EVERYTHING! And if you do go to court, TAKE THE DOCUMENTS (you'd be surprised...) If your boyfriend has the child he does not have to return the child untill the time that is out lined in the agreement.
All I have to say is 9 pm
All I have to say is 9 pm bedtime? for a 1 yr old? my BS8months goes to bed at 730, BS3 at 730, SD10 at 830......
get the court order to state the times and PRAY she lays him down by 8pm....