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When is it time to call it.

crystalclear's picture

Its been awhile. Everyone's older but not much has changed. My DH is still horrible when SS6 comes over. Still mean to my children. I should drop my life if SS6 needs something,but won't for me He will attend his baseball games but won't even consider going to ABA classes with me. My oldest child is PDD/NOS.
Nothing I say is right,nothing I do is right. I'm selfish and only think about me. (but I only own 1 bra)I walk on egg shells just wondering what I'll do wrong next. I have anxiety and panic attacks. Most days I can cope and its ok. He has social anxiety so we don't leave the house which means I don't really have friends. I know he loves me but when do I say enough is enough and dealing with your bi polar or aspersers is affecting me and my health.
I love to laugh I don't do much of that anymore. What to do what to do ?

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cfmommyof3's picture

OMG...first go buy some new bras...seriously, you need more than one. I have done nothing for myself in so long even though my fiancé tells me to. I still put everyone else first. He finally was like enough...go get new bras (no kidding I wouldn't buy new ones cuz I barely ever leave the house compared to everyone else). Somehow someway DHs need to learn how to be a father to his kids AND a husband to his wife. I say this because Im lucky in this aspect that my fiancé gets it. If your SO doesn't get it or wont get it make sure you do you because you aren't much good to others if you don't. Have friends, buy bras, hell buy something that makes you feel good...it helps...I just learned this myself. And for the love of GOD find the people you need in your life to Laugh!!!! Its the meds to almost everything. My prayers will be with you and Good luck!! Oh and for a laugh....here's a joke Smile (fiancé brought this one home and I laughed my ass off)
Young man's father says its time to become a man.
Father takes man down to local brothel in a station wagon and says don't tell mom.
SO they pull up to a run down house and dad hands man $10 and says go in and ask for a good time.
Young man goes in and ask for a good time and the "lady of the house" says go down the hallway first room to your right.
Young man does so and there is nothing but a chicken in the room. Sooo he decides he will get his moneys worth.
He goes back out to the car and dad asks how was it and he says there was nothing in the room but a chicken so I got my moneys worth.
The dad says that's not what I was talking about and gives him $20 and tells him to go back in.
Young man goes back in and "the lady of the house" sends him up the stairs and to the right.
There is a bunch of guys in there looking through a hole in the floor all excited. Young man thinks a bunch of guys in a room...is this worth my money? Then he sees its 2 girls going at it and says this is awesome.
The guys in the room say yeah, you should have been here 10 mins ago...there was a guy fucking a chicken!

Crude I know but I couldn't help but laugh...hope it does the same for you! P.S. My fiancé was helping me with this one and his word of advice to pass onto your SO is traditional..."If Mama aint happy, aint no body happy". Something else we go by here is "Give to get and get to give"...in other words 50/50....Hope your SO can see the logic...Good luck to you and yours!!! ANd hope we made you laugh!!!!

ctnmom's picture

What you described is not "love". Actions speak louder than words. We only get one life on this earth, please consider getting out of this situation. Sad ((((hugs))))

misSTEP's picture

If you are not in the position to leave now, at least get out and do things by yourself and for yourself. He is saying things like you only care about yourself in an effort to manipulate and control you.

I have a DH with severe social anxiety (although not bipolar, thank goodness) and I had to start doing things without him if he didn't want to go because I was getting resentful of being either at work or stuck at home because of his anxiety.