We found out last week that BM agreed to let SD11 go to the middle school near us! This is a big deal since now she'll be at a BETTER SCHOOL and be able to attend after-school clubs and activities, and be able to get a little more independence. It'll also make DP's "kid commute" a little easier; although we'll now have SD9's schedule to deal with (DP and I already agreed to split the work on that one since SD11's will make things easier).

It also means we may end up with SD11 during the week and one weekend a month in the future (a lot more) and SD9 will likely end up with us when she gets to middle school as well.

This is a major reason why we bought a house (should be final within a week). It's coming together. The SDs are happy, DP is finally getting exited to move, and I am beside myself with relief. I just can't wait to sleep over at that house for the first time! We will have privacy!

And I think if I hadn't disengaged on some levels I would have ended up in the madhouse.
I have my "rules" in place and stick to them.