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KARMA rains DOWN!!!!

Someoneelse's picture

SO, DD18 is here for thanksgiving break, and has to leave on saturday morning. SD17 wanted to be here because her and DD sorta kinda get along (DD18 can only tolerate for short spurts, DD19 and SD don't get along at all). WELL, SD18 is on 12yo brother  babysitting duty for her mom. so she can't come until saturday... but DD18 has work on saturday so she HAS to leave in the morning.


I say KARMA because SD has made SEVERAL statements about how her mom NEVER tells her no about coming to visit, how DH NEVER asks for more time, or to split holidays so that he spends time with SD... WHICH IS ALL LIES. DH HAS asked on several occasions to spend more time with SD, BM ALWAYS said no, so DH stopped asking. but DH ALWAYS lets BM have SD early, or splits his holidays with SD because BM opens with "I think it's SD's best interest that she spend half of the holiday with me because *insert some strange uncle that SD never gets to see (forget all the family we have on this side of the family that also only gets together on holidays)* but because it has been presented as "in SD's best interest" DH allows it (and BM KNOWS THAT). But now that SD is 17, has a car and a drivers license, and SD is wanting to come, NOW SD is being told no LMAO.


ASIDE FROM THAT HILARITY! SD was being left home alone at 12, and DH had a FIT over it (there is literally a jail RIGHT NEXT TO HER HOUSE, and you can wave to people from the windows in SD's back yard), SD's bedroom window has been broken, there's been beer bottles left in the bush infront of SD's bedroom window (not SD's, it was back when SD was like 7 or 8). But NOW the brother is too young to be left by himself... So now SD can watch him... so it's just all funny to me.


I told DH (back when SD was going into middle school she was given the option by BM to go to school with DDs or where BM's house is zoned) that since I had started working from home I would be here so she wouldn't go home to an empty house, and I would make snacks and assist with homework just as I did with my own (this was well before I disengaged). But BM wanted SD to THINK that she had the choice. she kept persuading her talking about how her middle school by her house sounded like Harry Potter movie, they were broken down into Houses (middle schools here are broken into groups so each grade level would have 3 or 4 groups to make switching classes easier). And that if she went to DDs school that her class rank would be lower because of all the smart people at her school (yes she basically told SD that she was dumb). But SD being a Harry Potter fanatic, was enough persuasion to make her choose to go home alone every day and stay at the school her mom's house was zoned to. Looking back I am GLAD she stayed there... I don't think I could take SD everyday!

and yet, SD's brother is too young to do the same LMAO

Someoneelse's picture

Don't get me wrong, I am SOOOOOOOOOO glad SD can't see DD this week, I just find it funny in an ironic sort of way. AND I get her all to myself!!!! I have to share with DD19, but that's ok, DD19 is an amazing kid too Wink

Stepdrama2020's picture

Yup dont ya just luv it when this happens  Wink

Enjoy your DD's with no SD to ruin things.

Of course with BM there is a double standard, thats how they roll.


Someoneelse's picture

It's part of why i disengaged, i wouldn't allow half of what BM pulls, but DH won't get police involved or just stand firm in the contract, and not allow BM to take sd on his time.  He already has such limited time with sd, so now sd doesn't VALUE her time with DH because anytime BM asks he basically rolls over and gives up. I get that is due to BM constantly threatening to take DH to court, but at some point id have to call her bluff... but that's me and what id do... DH doesn't care, so i can't care more than he does, or id go crazy... so i just back off and don't care.  But i can find humor in the irony. 

Someoneelse's picture

He did tell sd the facts, but she acts as if DH is not telling the truth, because BM showed sd the texts, but of course AFTER she deleted everything she wanted deleted. DH feels as though he shouldn't involve sd in the texts, he hates that BM does it, but doesn't think about the fact that BM is spinning this narrative of DH making him look crazy. Like a full heartedly bridges DH is mean for not texting BM happy birthday and merry Christmas... because BM does every single time, which is weird considering they aren't friendly. And things in the past that i was WITNESS to are completely spun differently than they occurred.  BM deleted parts of conversations to make BM look calm cool and collected even though she threatened to take DH to court several times for not doing what "is in sd's best interest" (which is part of the reason DH gives in to what ever BM asks) 

Rags's picture

with the full documented facts and .... point out that her BM is lying.

Facts are neither good nor bad, they are merely facts.

If the facts demonstrate that BM is loading SD up with loads of bullshit, SD needs that information so she can protect herself from the toxic now and throughout her adulthood. BM won't stop this crap.

The toxic rarely if ever do.

We kept SS-30 aware of the facts in an age appropriate manner as he was growing up under the Custody/Visitation/Support order.  As he progressed into and through his teens then on to adulthood, he had all of the facts, knew where to research the facts when the toxic stench spouted by the SpermClan did not pass the smell test, and ultimately how and when to call them on their lies and manipulations.  Now as a fully viable successful self supporting adult... they rarely if ever try to guilt him into whatever it is the are trying to sucker out of him.  He calls them on their bullshit and bares their asses. So... they just no longer try.  Embarrassment and public humiliation tends to be very effective in stopping lies and manipulation.

Probably the most notable element that the facts allowed SS to drive was shutting down his Spermidiot's claims that he was never married and never needed a woman. The next visitation, SS handed him a copy of his divorce order from the county court house. In front of SpermGrandHag and the three younger also out of wedlock Spermidiot spawned half sibs by two other baby mamas.  They were all either adults or nearly adults at that time.  SS pointed out that not only had the Spermidiot been married, he had been married to a 16yo when he as ~24.

SS asked him why he insisted on lying to everyone.


Kids need the facts.

Someoneelse's picture

While i agree, DH disagrees, he "doesn't want to stoop to her level" and we didn't know right away that BM was doing this, it wasn't until a year ago that we found out, by then sd is already fully PASed out.  Even if DH showed her she'd probably think we edited the conversation some how,  like photoshop or something. For instance  BM told sd that DH doesn't have none disease in his hip... DH showed sd XRays of his hip... SD still doesn't believe him, even though he's had surgery, shown her the scar... because BM told her so... that's what we're dealing with

I agree that DH should also show her, but I cannot put more effort/care more than DH does. I will lose my mind trying to convince DH to do something, and then if he did and it somehow blew up in my face, and ended up causing more harm then good, then I'd REALLY go crazy. 

Someoneelse's picture

The other part, of me is like EVEN IF HE WAS TOO YOUNG (maybe BM feels bad for leaving SD slone and didn't realize how dangerous it was over there, even though she could OBVIOUSLY see the jail, and all the bail bonds places as she drove down the road) what does she do with her son when SD DOES spend the weeks here in the summer, or the week at christmas? GRAMMY and POP POP take him, why couldn't they for a day or two? ONLY because BM doesn't want to let SD come here when it's not DH's time... which I don't care... it's just that she's a complete hypocrite, and it makes me laugh. It makes me laugh because SD STILL doesn't see it. at this point SD reminds me of the water boy Bobby Boucher "But momma said" She could be presented with COLD HARD EVIDENCE and still believe BM is telling the truth. and SD is JUST LIKE HER.