I think 'parent' is not just a biological term, but also a socially-constructed term. By that I mean, it's a role that has a place in society; being a parent is not just a biological fact. Even the use of the term 'real' in the original statement pretty much says that too.

So I think that becoming or being a parent is a lot more than biological material, or marriage, or adoption, or any thing like that. And if you are dealing with a child that is poorly behaved *without* the authority to intervene, then I don't see how you are a parent. You can love, sure, but love is just the thread that keeps relationships going when everyone's being a dick. If you have nothing else, then you just have a bunch of dicks sitting around pissing each other off until someone dies or moves out.

I agree with the statement. I look at it as being a parent is in your heart. The statement says nothing about loving that child just that you are a parent at heart.

People can have all the love for a child but be the crappiest parent because they are too self involved to put another human being before their own needs. I do not think a step-parent has to love a child at all because lets face it some kids make that next to impossible to do. But if they are in your home in under your roof if you are a parent at heart you will still try to parent that kid a little.

Maybe I am off taking it that way just how I see it.

I also like it because it confirms that DNA and biology does not mean crap. Being an egg donor or sperm donor does not make anyone a parent.

I think biology means nothing, in that many people can have sex and deliver a baby and be shit parents or neglect the child completely. I understand their is generally a "bond" when you gaze into your newborn's eyes after the delivery but it is NOT that way for everyone across the board.

As far as loving the step kid who has 2 parents "like your own"... that is different. They don't "need" your love (an adopted child who had no parents would need your love. A stepkid who's mother died or abandoned them would likely need your love).

In the case of a skid with 2 active parents, your "love" is just a bonus, really. Just respecting them would be enough.

"Not being biologically related to a child doesn't make you any less of a parent. Being a real parent isn't in the dna, it's in the heart."?

Barf - that's what I think about it.

I think there is "parent" as a noun and "parent" as a verb.

I HATE the whole "love them as your own" crap. Why would I love random kids to whom I am not related?

Ugh..

I believe it might be true for some people, especially in the case of adoption, but I agree that you can "parent" a child without being a parent. I mean... parenting as a verb, yeah, I do that all day every day. But loving a child more than I love myself - enough that i'd die for them? Nope. I don't do that lol. And that, to me, is part of being a parent.

I'm only 7 weeks along in pregnancy and I love whatever my baby is right now more than I love my stepdaughter, and that's okay. It's a good thing she's got two parents who SHOULD feel the same for her. my DH does but BM definitely doesn't, and that's not something I feel the need to make up for anymore. I love my stepdaughter but nothing like I will love my own in 7.5 months time <3

In a sense of someone raising a child as their own such as adopting them of course they are real parents. My brother and SIL adopted my nephew and he is just as much their son as my biological nephew. They are his parents in every sense of the word.

Sorry, but I disagree with this. The stigma society places on stepparents to "love the kids as your own" is unfair. Nobody sits the children down and puts a demand on them to love the stepparent just the same as their mother or father. Because that's impossible. You're not there to be another parent. You're there to support your spouse while they parent their own kids. That said, you should treat your spouse's kids with kindness and be a support to them in times when it's needed. Form your own bond with them on terms that are acceptable to both you and the kids. But inserting yourself in the children's lives as a parental figure when they have two parents is wrong. You're not the parent.

Also, my DH agrees with me on this.

I think it can be true for some people but it is not true for all. You don't have to be biologically related to a child to be a parent to that child. But just because there is a child in your life on a regular (daily? 50/50? EOWE? etc) basis doesn't mean you automatically become a parent.

I love my nephews and my niece very much but I am not their parent. It's just not the same. And when kids were younger I used to see them daily (living arrangements we had with my brothers family ), yet I never claimed to be their parent. You can love children yet not be a parent. My mom was always involved with grandkids, but she didn't pretend to be a parent

As about stepparents. I expect my DH to treat my DD nicely and kindly but love her or be a parent, that would be unfair expectation

Yes it's possible as you as the non biological parent is allowed to teach and discipline children, regardless