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Step child needs constant reassuring due to

countrygirl143's picture

Submitted by countrygirl143 on Wed, 02/20/2019 - 12:29pm

In my previous blog, I mentioned that I have a step child that needs constant reassurance due to changes in her life. I feel like my spouse is completely going backwards. She is now afraid of everything and is extra clingy. Which isn't that big of a deal to me, but now he is sleeping in the room with her. She's used to her mother in the room with her and now she has her father in the room. I know this a agree to disagree topic. But I personally believe a child is to sleep in their room on their own bed. Some people always say it's easier for someone that never had a kid to say that. We grew up differently and my household was dysfuntial but we always had to sleep in the room. I am just stuck now due to him not knowing boundaries and he is just continuing to enable her behavior. I took a step back on trying to help the situation due to it becoming a conflict and overwhelming for me. I didn't want to stress over something that won't get fixed until he is able to see that he needs to be firm and set boundaries on his own. Just don't know what to do at this point. =/

Comments

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Wed, 02/20/2019 - 1:16pm

I am a bio parent, my kids always sleep in their own bed (there were a few times when they were little and sick- my son had horrific seizures- when I would want to literally keep my hand on him as he slept).

Kids co sleeping with steps is inappropriate in my opinion. I also don't believe that parents should go to sleep in kids beds. However, if your SO doesn't see an issue you won't likely change his mind. I am not one to play withholding sex games or whatever to try and lure him away from his daughter. I would just simply state that if he isn't going to keep you warm at night that you are going to have to reassess your living situation. Because I am sure you will be able to find someone who actually wants to be with you!

Wilhelm's picture

Submitted by Wilhelm on Wed, 02/20/2019 - 2:20pm

I have kids and I never allowed them to sleep in our bed.

I have a friend who gets kicked out of her own bed by a granddaughter who sleeps with grandad. Not on. This grandchild also claims the front seat of the car and leaves poor gran in the back.

Harry's picture

Submitted by Harry on Wed, 02/20/2019 - 6:02pm

you have bigger problems then think.  He should be sleeping in your bed and his DD in her own room. That how it is. No exceptions.,  This is a place to draw a line in the sand.  If DD is that much more important then you and your marriage.  maybe he should be living with DD by himself and taking care of all her needs by himself.  

 

capp1978's picture

Submitted by capp1978 on Fri, 02/22/2019 - 3:08pm

DH & I have one child together.  We do not let her sleep with us unless she is sick or if we are staying away from home (we travel alot).  SD slept with both DH & her BM until she was 13!!!!  When DH & I were dating I couldn't spend the night there during his time with her b/c she was in his bed.  I ended sleeping over there once as it was a holiday and we were celebrating and DH didn't want me driving home.  She cried herself to sleep!  She was 12 1/2 years old.  I feel like even though she is 19 she still is dependent on someone sleeping with her.  She constantly has a friend sleeping in her bed or sleeping in her friends bed at their house.