20 year old stepdaughter ruining my life!
This is the email I sent to my husband today, as I am so fed-up, as I don't know what else to do.
As always, you never listen. I’m sure this will be forwarded so others can read, like everything else that I send you. It’s sad that a husband can’t keep confidential information confidential! You have no concern for my happiness, and it’s been proven time and time again. The kids & I will move from your place of residence where you pay the mortgage by end of January, February being the latest. I will be sure that Peoples Gas, Cable & ComEd is paid through the end of January, as thereafter; you will be responsible for any utilities that are billed for your place of residence.
You just walk around like everything is ok. Before Sara moved back in, you never sat down with her and went over what’s expected of her upon her return. You never sat down with me and asked me about my concerns, especially with her moving back in with a baby. In my opinion, as well as others, you’re afraid of her. Ok, you don’t charge her rent, but she should be responsible for some kind of chores around the house. She eats, live and have a live-in babysitter, all for free! Ben take out the garbage and Sam is responsible for the dishes. She does absolutely nothing. She doesn’t clean up, there’s a bag full of used pampers in the kitchen waiting for Ben to take them out! Why is that? I hate to smell your house in the summer! Not only will you have roaches, but mice and nets! She keeps her closet light on all night, for what? Damn, you should have some kind of consideration for the individual who’s paying the utilities around here! Then, you allow not only her, but your friends to come in without taking their shoes off tracking snow, rain, etc on the carpet and floor. Explain to me why this is ok.
I can go on and on, but you know what; that’s your daughter and I’m only the wife! My family warned me and they were so right! How stupid do I feel that I finally felt like I had a house I can call home. All I have is a bunch of wishful thinking.
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Comments
It's just crazy. I just
It's just crazy. I just don't know what else to do. First and foremost, don't blame "US" and/or take advantage of "US" for you having a baby at 20. How can you take care of a baby and you can't even take care of yourself! If I don't leave that house, I am going to be stone crazy!
I just hope you really leave.
I just hope you really leave. Because if you don't they will step all over you for the rest of your life. Best Wishes...
Trust me I am. I will be
Trust me I am. I will be talking to my 2 children (ages 15 & 17 tonight) regarding the move and the next step is to call my mother to make sure the kids & I can stay with her for a while.
You will be doing your
You will be doing your children a huge favor. I hope they take the news well.
I hate to say it to, but you
I hate to say it to, but you definitely need to leave. This situation is horrible. Your DH is taking it and doesn't understand that it affects you and your kids. Move on, he doesn't sound like he deserves any thing more.
It won't hit him until he's
It won't hit him until he's paying for everything! One day, he'll realize that I was right about his daughter and how she's taken advantage of the situation!
Hmmmm...my SD has the same
Hmmmm...my SD has the same name...scary....
WOW! Run-fast.....Just
WOW! Run-fast.....Just Kidding! Hope you're not going through the same ordeal as I am.
I just hope one day that my
I just hope one day that my husband realizes that I was right about the entire situation. For example, on yesterday; which was a Tuesday night, she called my MIL and asked her if she could babysit and she told her NO. Well, my daughter told me why my MIL said NO. Apparently, the weekend of New Year's my MIL watched the baby while my SD went out, and she didn't come back until 7 am the next morning. After my MIL told her NO, my daughter asked her why she couldn't take the baby with her and she said why should I take the baby with me, if I don't have to? Well for starters, she's your 3 month old baby and for two, take her to her father if you want to go out. When I returned home from picking up my daughter from cheerleading practice, who has the baby, yep you guessed right; the dear hubby. Well she lied to him, as she told him that she was going to get something to eat, when she was really across the street at some party. My husband has to be up at 5 am for work! Now if this is not being taken advantage of, I don't know what is. However; my husband will have to be the one to show tough love, because at the end of the day, no one told her to go out and have a baby at 20!
Sadly, I wish one day XBF
Sadly, I wish one day XBF would realize that I was right about his darlings,too. But I guess that's just to make myself feel better. I doubt he ever will and I think I will feel better when I reach the point of not caring if he ever extracts head from butt. Healthier for me to just focus on my stuff now.
I'm sorry you're going through this. Don't hold your breath that he will have some epiphany and the light comes on. If so, I will be very happy for you, but I think once you get past the pain and the wrongness of how you're being treated you'll just feel better.
I'm working through that right now and I can't help but be pissed off at the indignities I've had to suffer especially from the 19 year old. I have no wisdom yet, but I'm working on it! You too! We are worth more than that!
It's hard to fall out of love, but I think I was pushed off a cliff by that bitch and her father informs me that she is beautiful, loving and kind. He will never see her for what she is and he's making the younger one just like her. He is clearly on the planet "holy shit, how do you call yourself a parent"
You're right! I just think
You're right! I just think that he has to want to change things. I'm sorry, but who's the adult in this situation, who's taking care of who? Sorry, but no one told her to go out and have a baby at 20! How can you take care of baby and you can't even take care of yourself? My dear hubby always tries to sugar coat and make excuses for her! My SD just wants to make my life miserable, and I will not allow this to happen.
My adult SS is almost 20 and
My adult SS is almost 20 and after living at his gf's parents house for a few months, he is back home with us. He was kicked out by his gf's mom because he was never doing anything around the house. My stomach was sick when I heard he was coming back. He is an awkward, lazy, passive aggressive person and I just don't like him. I almost left my husband to move back to my hometown because my DH and I constantly have huge fights because of his son. We are now in therapy to try and work out our marriage and how to deal with our main problem-his boy. It is really helping. I just hope you have tried everything to communicate with your DH and not leave your marriage because of your anger. I refuse to allow my SS to run me out of my own house and ruin my marriage. If you still love your husband, don't do anything that you will regret. You need to talk and compromise with your DH. Wish you all the best.
I totally understand what you
I totally understand what you are saying, however; the problem is my husband never does anything about the situation. I feel as though he needs to put his foot down and show tough love, as this is his biological daughter. I'm not asking him to put her out, but to explain to her that rules are rules! You're 20 with a baby, and living here for free, which means you need to help around the house, clean up after your baby, which means taking the dirty pampers out immediately, not just putting them in the garbage and waiting for someone else to take out. Her bedroom is a disaster, as I'm not even sure how she sleeps in there. She's lazy and in my opinion feels as though my husband is obligated to continue to allow this kind of behavior. I'm sorry but its unaccpetable! When you're eating & living rent free, you should be more than willing to do chores around the house! Otherwise, move out on your own and take care of yourself!