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CoURT finnaly after 5 years

clueless2stepparent's picture

So next Tuesday is court I finnaly filed all the docs to get full custody of ss10 and for BM to help contribute to his financial care. we are all stuck home on quarantine together dad lost his job thanks to the judge rescheduling the custody case over 3 times and CPS having their own appointments n meetings his boss got sick of it n let him go. Ss10 has been complaining everyday about what we eat not enough meat rice to many times drives me nuts. Worst thing is Dad has no schedule with ss10 and ss10 just sits around watching TV all day. I told dad make him do his chores make him brush his teeth make him check his hw. SS10 smiles when we fight n he says things like I ruined everything he is Sneeky he lies constantly and I just caint stand even looking at him to add to it all he looks just like his mom. he's over weight lazy and slow. I'm taking a guess it's add or fetal alcohol syndrome. We already have full custody only she doesn't help us and she claimed all the tax credit the last 5 years not buying him anything and the burden is always on me. I try to keep up with his needs but I have 2 of my own kids n I'm sick of his Additude. he's just like his mom and the worst parts of his dad n I have to keep smiling every day like I'm happy with this bullshitt but I'm not I hate her and my husband for not raising a better human and giving me such a big stress in my life that I would rather be single with my 2 kids n investing my energy into something beautiful.  it's 10pm he's watching TV now shower thrww away his dinner because he didn't like it ( lied to dad he ate it) hasn't bushes his teeth left his chores undone all day n drinking some sugary drink dad bought him bouncing on the couch that I pay for. I think my husband knew when he found me I was a great provider and caretaker for my kid n that's all I am to these guys no respect. Wait till they realize I stopped washing their clothes 2 days ago ;] n after i pay off the summer clothes n shoes I just bought ss10s ungrateful lil ass I'm done with both of them I do what I do because I care their behavior is making me not care anymore. one thing I hate is lazy stupid people n I'm stuck on quarantine with them screw this Pandemic ruining lives same goes with being a step parent 

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justmakingthebest's picture

This sounds like a lot going on. 

I have a few questions for you:

  1. You said your husband lost his job. Is he getting any unemployment benefits right now? What is he doing to find work? Everywhere is hiring right now. He needs to do SOMETHING to support this family- wait tables until he can get back to what he was doing before.
  2. Has your SS been assessed for any mental disabilities? You suggested FAS. As a step parent of an adult child with Autism, I know how hard it can be when they don't do the things children their age should be doing. If there is something going on, getting support from counselors for both you and his father, as well has him will be beneficial. 
  3. What is the visitation schedule with BM? When do you get breaks? 

clueless2stepparent's picture

Husband did get a job he has an uncanny ability to get work thank God he's really good at what he does. And got a better schedule 4 tens my dream so he can be with SS more. Giving me a break 

He has adhd anxiety and possibly either fas or is on the autism spectrum. Howes getting him help is not realistic I spend 7 months back n forth with doctors to get him countless he won't talk to them n his Bio mom labeled me crazy for trying to get him help. Telling my dear husband I'm doing it becomes I don't want ss and he should just Quite fighting her n give SS back full-time because I clearly caint handle it lmmfao she I manipulating and so is SS10 he learned n copies so much of his moms behavior it makes me sick. Liying stealing from me doing inappropriate things with my neighbors 7 year old my 1 year old nephew watching porn posting nasty videos I mean he keeps me so busy n no one will help me Dad knows all this and gets embarrassed asks me hlideas on how to handle it. The one time he spanked him over the nasty things he was doing to my friends kids I was for an ass whooping on that one he is 10 no way he can say he didn't know better n to little kids makes him a predator. his behavior resembles psychopaths or sociopathic behavior I know he hurts my dog and I've seen things he does to yhe baby when he thinks no one's watching he's mean he hates me he is full of jealousy for his lil sister n I try talking to him about it telling him I love him asking and caring about him and his needs he needs shoes I buy them he needs hair gel or a special bath toy I always take care of him he wets the bed I tell him it's OK ill wash his things I try to be there for him but after a few days with mom he comes back and hates me for a couple days. the Additude the complaints about doing chores or just telling him to brush his teeth eat his food (healthy n he hates it its verry clear mom doesn't make him eat that) mom doesn't make him shower or get dressed every morning or do chores so I am the dreaded stepmom who is at fault for all his mom n dads shortcoming 

Schedule has been awful 7 months no visitation. Now it's per mom's request wed 10am to thur 6pm (so she can go party n drink with all her extra money from not supporting her kid) Then he's with us untill the next wen at 10am n returns sun 10am. My dream schedule would be Fri too mon cuz hunny is off sun mon tue n I'd only have a couple full days to keep him busy he requires alot of help attention and is super clinging follow u from room to room clingy. He will sit there just staring untill u give him something to do . I'll say u look board no I'm just sitting here. ok well dont go find someone to do or I'll give u something. Play Legos play playdogh play outside with ur 4 dogs  play with ur toys color do art Something besides sit here. He will go to his 1year old sister n take her toys or stop her from playing or exploring. Not to play with her no just to take things away or stop her or to sit next to her untill she hits him or climes in him (and again with the weird sexual behavior he has displayed I am NOT comfy letting her clime on his lap he gives me weird sneaky vibes n trys to hide with her I do not like it.)  Dad keeps asking why I always grab the baby when he trys to paly with her I tell him he's not playing with her if he wanted to play he can help her with a puzzle read her a story or play pretend with her tea cup but only where ibcan see them . it is alot and I love my husband but I hate being a stepmom everyone says he will appreciate me oneday but I'm not his mom he needs his mom to get her shitt together n I need to run away maybe with out my husband who will never fully grasp how hard this all is for me he's worried about his son im just here I wanted this and it's hard both are true but also I don't wanna do this anyway n love isn't enough to keep me in this situation I need change