I keep wondering is there any pluses.  Last night was a huge fight . BM was an hour late dropping off SS10 after her 1 Day with him. I had a meeting so naturally I waited untill I couldn't wait then I left hubby texts me ss will be home in 1 hr well I'm not so tell BM to bring him latter like 9pm when I'll be home. Hubby seems to be very beta male with BM im over it. He starts texting me how could I not be there for his son. Well maybe I have a life n u and ur BM need to stick to a schedule for the benefit of all of us. She manipulates him so bad. She told him I did all the court paperwork wrong n other things she just gets in his head n I feel he's dumb enough to let her. She brings back ss with Photos of him n his dad when he was little to put n my house for father's day. because I don't have money to buy a gift ss said wtf I don't have money because this woman doesn't support her kid I'm buying everything feeding n driving around to pick him up I feel so just like shittt.   This woman told the judge lies my husband is not able to stand up to her. she won't talk to me because  very clear about how I feel about her negligent and abusive parenting style. Court did not help even thought we have ss fulltime they keep letting mom off paying child support n my husband works but I end up speeding all my money n tome on ss n  I'm tierd for husband not to treat me better put me first no. His son is everything to him last night he brought home food for his son n my daughter was here. he walked in said hi to everyone but her n it really hurt me because I JUST had a discussion with her about signing his father's day card. she hates him because she's sees me taking on to much with him n his sons problems. I have verry lil time for my kids due to ss being so traumatized n helpless . Then he seen me get a mad look on face because I seen the food n then I noticed he brought her food too( we talk about treating the kids all equally)   but I wasn't sure by that time he started yelling at me for looking at his sons food angrily  n why I always have a bad look on face when he tries to do something for the kids ( it's not that at all I had a hard day he doesn't get it)    N pur night was over not only did ss eat the food he stayed up till 1 am and ate another full plate of food n he's over weight but hey I just went to bed I don't even enjoy being with my daughter when she's here because ss in right there 24/7. Then my moody ass teenagers didn't even eat the food when he warmed it up for her she went n took a shower it was so rude of her n I just feel so in the middle then I realize the baby 1 she isn't getting the attention she needs either shes starting to hit n bite n scream giving me even more headaches n now Here we are fathers day my daughters going yo her dad's I'm stick here n I don't wanna be around ss anymore he's been good this week its just he looks Just like his mom n it's making me sick because she is a huge problem in my life but so is husband I don't think I can keep sacrificing myself for this marriage to work I am a horrible step parent shitt I'm not even a good regular parent this is too hard. N I cai t tell my family they will judge hubby caint tell my friends they just say leave I just have to vent here thank u guys for being here or I would go crazy all alone