Exactly! You knew getting involved would have a bad outcome. Done, be done. Do nothing. Ignore all of it. If this doesn't teach you nothing will.

Complete disengagement. Complete!  No rides, no money, no reminders. Avoid being alone with her.   And I'd cancel Netflix, but that's easy for me to say since I barely watch it. 

You knew this would happen.  She does this to you any time you make an effort.  Just stop - this girl is untrustworthy and a danger to you.

Is she still there? Someone needs to confiscate the phone and delete that video. No minor child in my house is gonna record me without my permission, hell no. 

JFC, we keep telling you to disengage, it's like you don't know what that means.

Nope “homie don’t play that”.  Nanny cams all throughout the house and let SD17 know they are there recording every visit.  DH defending her and allowing her to record you, nope DH can find alternative digs to visit with his toxic kid.  No more sitting back and allowing these toxic people to control the narrative. 

No way would I allow someone to record me in the home I pay for. These two (DH and SD) are like an albatross around your neck, Clove. My first piece of advice would be to get them both out of your life. In the meantime, there's no way I would allow SD back in my home. DH needs to be told that you will not be threatened, screamed at, baited, or recorded in your own home. (And I would throw in there that he better tell her the next time she has only a nickel spare for dear ol dad on Fathers Day, she better not come to you expecting you to pony up the rest to get him a NICE gift! )

You don't have to address it with her directly. Tell your DH and HE can be the one to tell her (or not.... and to be honest if he doesn't take your side in this, then Clove he is participating in your abuse... and... what does that say about your marriage?) 

You are too good for all of them. Do not ever do a damn thing for either SD again. Your DH doesn't give a shite about being a good parent. He just wants his comforts and to do what he pleases. The girls are beyond screwed up by both parents. Unless you at least have a good marriage out of this arrangement, there's nothing good there for you. 

There is no way a minor child gets to record me in my house, let alone threaten me with calling CPS on me. I would of asked her "you are going to call CPS on me for what exactly? Asking what is going on with my netflix? Here, I will go get the number for you." 

I would be telling DH that he needs to get her phone from her and delete the video then delete the video out of the album of recently deleted and check that it is not on any of the back up apps such as Icloud or Google photos, etc. If my husband did not do this as well as tell SD in no uncertain terms is she to record any adults in the household without their permission, call CPS, or make false allegations and if she cannot follow this, then she is to be staying at her mother's because she will not disrespect the adults in the household. 

If DH refused or gave any flack on doing any of this, then he can find himself another spouse.

I say all this, but also know that things have not been great with your DH and the fact that he also does this and records you, I would 100% be starting my exit strategy. It is just not right what you put up with and I know you wish it would get better on both the SD front and the DH front, but it is pretty clear that neither are going to get any better. If you wish to continue holding on to your marriage, I would make it necessary that you go to marriage counseling. Things have gotten too far and like someone else said, I feel like things are a lot worse with your DH then you share.

I am sorry you are dealing with all this. But you deserve so MUCH better, you have such a caring heart.

...NO NO NO NO...that right there is abusive behavior.  Let me guess..your DH picks and picks and picks till you lose it then records you.  That is abusive.  Seems SD has learned that behavior from not only FF but from you DH as well.

My advice as someone that played the long game..(took me 3 years of planning and saving before I could leave the VI)...keep your head low and do not engage.  SD doesn't get DIckHead a gift..oh well that is his problem not yours.  Eff talking to either of them...its like p*ssing up a tree..the tree doesn't get watered and you get covered with p*ss.  When DH starts the false accusations...I found responding back with ..if that is what you believe so be it.  once you start agreeing and taking the fight out of it...then it becomes less fun for them.  Or greyrock the hell out him...mmmm hmmmm DH...I hear what your saying....

Start diverting money and resources....take care of YOU.  

SD is 17-- old enough to work and buy her own gifts. There should be plenty of summer jobs where her mom lives (beach town). Stop giving her anything. It's not appreciated. (SD had $14. That was enough for a $10 certificate and a card.

No more rides to mall with GF. That's dad's job. If he's off fishing and can't do it, oh well.

Netflix. I recall you having a conversation with her about this before. Change your password and don't give her the new one. (I used my son's account. Twice recently he has had to confirm that it was actually him. It is part of their multi user crackdown. He's adding me as a user for a minimal amount each month.)

SD didn't learn recording from feral. She learned it from dad.

There's lots of good advice above. You deserve better.

Your husband records you when you two argue? How old is he?!

I agree with all the comments. Do not let these two use you as a door mat. Respect yourself and expect to be respected. Yes, your approach about Netflix probably wasn't the best, and so what? You are the adult and you are not to be treated the way she did. If you don't want to leave him, at least completely disengage from them both. Save your sanity and dignity.

And please don't fall for the "people go to jail" bs. CPS aren't idiots. 

No one...and I mean NO ONE...records me in my home. First violation.  And now you say your DH does this?? Well, we know who she learned that behavior from.  My DH thought about doing that one time and I told him it would be his first and last recording of me in an argument or anywhere. I'm pretty sure that idea came from one of his nut case kids but regardless...he has NEVER even mentioned that again.

CLove...there are two problems that I see. 1). You are failing at disengaging. 2). Your DH is more of the problem than your SK.

#1  People with toxic behaviors are "players." They know how to coax people into letting their guard down and love it because it opens the door WIDE for their next pounce of destruction. Get back to COMPLETE disengagement...I mean to the point of speaking to her ONLY what is necessary.....and NEVER fall for that fake niceness again. She's 17...and she well knows what she's doing. 

#2 Your DH is playing a major roll with his kids and what they do to you. You are in counseling and he needs to be in it, too. Your counseling is for YOU. He needs to join in for it to be a WE thing and work on your marriage. Something tells me he won't do that. And that is where you need to make decisions for yourself.

Me? I'd definitely consult an attorney on that "threat" to CPS just to have it on record and to have some clarity on how to handle this. False allegations are NOTHING to play around with, especially when they impact you legally in the judicial system. 

DHs youngest accused me of mental abuse. She's been put on notice. She is not allowed any where near me. My attorney knows about the false allegation. (She's an adult so much different than a minor making that lie but I still covered myself).  Oh..and when DH questioned her...she said, "oh, she wouldn't talk to me sometimes. That's what I mean by mental abuse."  <eye roll>

CLove, you've gotten good advice. I just want to emphasize - this kid threatened you. She threatened to call CPS on you. DEALBREAKER. It's a power play, and there MUST be consequences for that. 

You can couch it as you feel threatened and need to protect yourself, but you need to draw a boundary with your H that he can see his daughter outside the home. F him, F her, and F this whole dysfunctional mess. Work your exit strategy, but make sure SDPS learns that you are not someone who takes being threatened lightly.

Should have switched the pw when she was gone! Now you get told off for asking a question to someone who is a user on the acct - ridiculous

Dont worry about CPS, I called it twice on BM1 for exposing her child to drugs and letting him live with her druggie brother....I tried to make an anonymous report but I was told that this was not a safety or security issue since the parent gave approval for the child to reside with an addict and I do not have substantial proof that the child is being exposed to drugs. Also BM2 is an alcoholic and they never took her kids away or investigated her

I doubt they would take her claims seriously past the intake interview. What would be the allegations? Even yelling at a child for misbehaving will not get you investigated lol

I am surprised that you didnt take precautions....Children record everything these days. This is one of the reasons that my SS21 assaulted me physically....I asked him to move the camera out of my face multiple times while I was having a domestic with my own husband and he was supposed to be in his room....Next thing I know, I pushed the camera out of my face and I was physically assaulted

Prior to that, I had been frequently recorded in my home by him but I had suspicions and anyway nothing I did or say was abnormal or remotely abusive 

They will try to record you all the way until you lose it....Be prepared.  The next step in your household will be physical and you will get blamed for her outbursts because she is a "child"

Also I wouldnt apologise for shit and I would keep my own recordings. My biggest regret and mistake was that I did not record my SS while he was abusive and disrespectful because now I have no proof of my allegations against him.....Record and document

Keep interactions minimal and quit involving her in your family business....

You are making this way too complicated. SD threatened to call CPS on you. The only logical consequence for that is she no longer comes to your home. If DH wants to see her, he can do so out of the home. If DH does not agree, then either he moves out or you do. There is no reason to play a long game. You don't have kids or a business together. Just contact a lawyer and get things started. Your DH pushes you to a place of anger and then records you, now his daughter is doing the same. How do you come back from that?

One more year and you can call the cops on SD and have them remove her from your home, then file a restraining order. Then.... the jokes on her. Its called being a grown up!   This girl sounds like a sociopath.

They will tell her to take it to the police.
 We keep telling you to disengage.  She not your DD or friend.  She  is in it to cause trouble.she love's trouble.  She loves drama.   You play into it  She has mental problems, that no one DH is addressing.  It's not going to get better  

Back to disengageing. Cut off Netflix from her. If DH WW RS her to have Netflix, he buys her her own account.  Pay for nothing for her. No talking to her.  Who cares what she does for Father's Day. That DH problem, not yours.  
It's coming down to you or her.  DH better have plans for her after she 18. Like out of your home.  He can see her all he wants, but away from home.  

I would go see an attorney and when she turns 18, sue TT, FF, and SDPS.  If for no other reason than to scare the holy shit out of them.

Stop engaging. Let her explain to daddy why she does not give a shit about him when she has the usual bullshit excuse for missing FD, his BD, Christmas, etc.....

And... due to the threats of calling CPS, inform DH that she will no longer be allowed in your home due to the false accusations and threats and if you ever find her in your home, you will call the police and file an RO/PO to minize the risk she represents to you. In fact. file the RO/PO immediately. Also, have your attorney send her a cease and decist order.

Quit playing her game and just win by destroying her ... NOW.

11mos will make do difference in her shit character except to likely just make it worse. She is already wallowing in the shallow and polluted harpy squad gene pool with TT and FF. Let them rot in that effluent and re-edicate yourself to living your best life. Enjoying the revenge that will deliver.

I am sorry she has once again proven she is unworthy of you.  I am also sorry for DH. He is 0/2 in daughters, and if he is not very verycareful, he will be 0/2 in marriages.

Take care of you CLove.