Thank you to everyone for the open and honest input from my Christmas post.

First - I turned it around this time. Instead of staying around, feeling bad because shes cying (I imagined) in her room, avoiding me and cleaning or lounging in a dark living room in my jammies watching netflix movies (which under any other circumstances would have been wonderful), instead I put my stuff in my backcpack and drove to the coast and walked on a trail along the beach.

I live in a world-class tourist area, Im about 20 minutes from internationally known locations. So, I left, no explanations and no goodbyes, just left. DH was getting us some crabs, had left at about 4 am, was braving the cold so we could partake of some sweet succulent Dungeoness with butter.

Several years ago, I had helped a friend, one who has since passed, decorate a memorial bench for his stepson, whom he simply called "my son". We decorated for Christmas, and it was a cold december day, filled with sadness and memories. His son had been stabbed by some gangmembers late at nigt, and left for dead along the coastal trail. There had been a long-term investigation into it, they found the brothers who did it and then, well, their families hid them, helped them disappear. Then my friend passed away suddenly of a heart attack. Christmas Day, I was drawn to the memorial benches. I took photos and walked from one to the other until I found my friend's stepsons.

DH texted me kissy faces, and said hey Im home with crabs, lets eat.

I wasnt quite ready. So I went to my girlfriends house and we were talking at length about her situation, and my situation. SD13 Munchkin had regressed to an 8-year old, when faced with the disappointment. Had said a few things, and had continued on her regression even after I relented my anti-game position (this one time). My friend helped me understand that yes, Munchkin has learned to manipulate by crying. She has regressed to a "safe child-space" because the toxicness of her mother and sister. Its how she deals with the adults and their issues. Shes had to take on adult things and she might use her games as a way to hide from it, somehow.

So, when I got home, Munchkin was in her room, DH was watching netflix, there was some cooked crab ready for me, and all was good. I knew that I was in for one of two reactions to my getting out of dodge: 1. Crying, resentful kiddo, angry daddy defending precious baby or 2. Everyones sweet, because I did not engage, did my own thing and had a good day.

To answer the questions/comments:

1. I agree that when you say "Im taking you shopping" it leaves you OPEN to ANYTHING and you must really define the WHAT, and not get disappointed when THEIR what doesnt fit into YOUR what.

2. My vision was that we would make a day of it. Get her some clothes (that fit because shes very short but very....wide and thick), get her some baking stuff, because she REALY wanted to start baking, and have a nice lunch somewhere - spend time together. Game stuff, she hides in her room for several days until the game is completed...doesnt come out to eat, only bathroom. This way, shes get out of the house and we get to bond. I understand that bonding time with me is not a priority...

3. She didnt want MY money, she just knew that I had money...